Jan dreads going out with her partner because he flirts outrageously with every woman he meets at social events, often right in front of her face. It's getting to the point where she is considering the future of their relationship, even though when she tries to discuss it with him, he dismisses her comments as simple insecurity.
It's easy for outsiders to say the guy is obviously emotionally immature and Jan shouldn't be putting up with his nonsense, but it's easier said than done when you really care about someone. Women put up with all kinds of disrespectful behaviour like this from men, with the reasoning ''I love him'' at the back of it.
Philippa for example puts up with her partner's drinking, despite the fact he nearly dropped their little daughter last weekend, at a barbecue. She feels alcohol has destroyed her life, but in actual fact it is this man and his preference for a drink, not the drink itself.
Then there's Alison, whose married lover keeps promising to leave, but is unable to give up his beautiful house and lifestyle and can't hurt his wife when she is making such an effort to sort out their marriage.
I could go on and on. Sylvia's husband works 24/7 and does nothing in the house or with the children. He's too tired to do social engagements and says that when he provides such a great lifestyle for them all, she shouldn't be complaining about such a pathetic thing as being lonely.
Short of walking away from such goings on, what can you do to teach a badly behaved man to respect you?
The answer is short and sweet. By respecting yourself.
There's a long serving cliché, treat others as you want to be treated. You can also turn this around a little and say, treat yourself as you want others to treat you!
If you value yourself and don't allow others to devalue you, by behaving in a confident and self-assured way, you will soon find that all the men with issues disappear into the background and you are left free to meet a wonderful, respectful guy who wouldn't dream of hurting you.
There's a temptation sometimes to go out with a certain man because there's no one else on the horizon, or to stay with a long-term partner because you're scared of life on your own.
This is understandable and no one should knock you for it, but you deserve so much more. Continuing to allow feelings of insecurity rule your life will stop you finding the man of your dreams and you will keep trundling along with an inferior guy.
