The Art of Playing the Israeli Dating Field

There is one thing that is an interesting art, to me, in Israel. It has to do with guys and girls and how they interact with one another. Girls, as we know, are notorious for wanting to have a serious relationship, and will usually try to make it work with just about anybody. The opposite is for guys, who, in turn, prefer to have something non-committal, but with all of the benefits of a relationship that is serious.

I've personally tried a variety of approaches. The let him call you only approach, which produces one of two results, generally. One, he doesn't call and you leave it at that. Two, he calls way too much and you just want to get him out of your sight/mind/etc. Another is the show you're totally interested approach, which is usually one that doesn't work, because then they guy will get scared. I had, however, done the opposite once, and I ran into the guy again later, when he said I should have called him more and we would have been something, like he and his new girlfriend ouch. The other is to call only occasionally, and to let him do the same to you. This sort of works, until he gets what he wants from you (or discovers he's not going to) and then he ceases calling you and you end up feeling like an idiot for calling too much.

Truthfully, I haven't found anything that works yet. I've seen girls get tons of guys all over them, and what are they left with in the end? Nothing serious. Guys come and go here, it's weird. Also, it's weird to see the guy who told you he is not sure if he wants anything serious to have a steady girlfriend all of the sudden.

So then the single girl residing in Israel starts to try to figure out what's wrong with her, that she can't get a serious, good, boyfriend. I remember a couple of times some guys who say they want to be friends with benefits and maybe let that grow into something, who knows. By the way, the "friends" thing is really ridiculous and they only want the benefits. But I have seen something like this work out to the girl's benefit to, and she ended up getting the guy...

My advice? Be yourself. Eventually someone will want to be serious, but keep your options open in the meantime. Until then, you will get a variety of guys (hot or not, nice or not, smart or not), and have fun playing them. Call them once every now and then (I recommend about 2 weeks for someone who doesn't call you so much, 1 week for someone who does - good to return the positive favor.) Also, if you see them regularly, don't call them regularly, either. Try to make a point of making half of the phone calls literally under 2 minutes each, and let it be about business (say, if the guy runs a business you like to frequent or has a service you or a friend could use, call only for that purpose... or to ask which bus line goes where, etc, you get the idea). Anytime you call him, let it be under 10 minutes (think about your phone bill!) but if he calls you, talk up to a half hour, maybe an hour if it's going super well and you just met him. SMS no more than twice a week.

I personally hated and still hate playing games, but what is a girl to do? These guys don't know what they want or are afraid to admit it, so you might as well manipulate them. Also, try to get out of them what you can (if it's a manager of a club, get in for free always. If it's an owner of a restaurant or store, get something for free. Hell, even if it's a soldier, see if he'll throw in a field uniform shirt for you - the dress uniforms are difficult to get too many of sometimes)

Oh yeah, and for any Israeli men reading this... you're either laughing because you know it's true or you're getting upset because you think it's not you. If it's the first, add (anonymously) what you think works to get one of you to commit. If it's the latter, email me! If we're not good for each other, chances are, I have plenty girls lined up that just might be.