When I look at all the relationships I have had over my life, they have been fostered from a real shared experience or commonality. Friendship is something we have all experienced at some point in our lives. Granted, some friends are short-term while others are more lasting. To have a lasting friendship is to know someone will be there for you when you need them; moreover, that person will be honest with you.
Another great attribute of friendship is its ability to offer us hope in humanity and in ourselves. We learn how to be a connected human being to the lives of others around us while we grow our own self-knowledge-a critical part of this aspect being the growth that we experience. In the world today, I have become acutely aware of the commoditization of friendship. Certainly, this perhaps is something that existed in an earlier time period than today; however, I believe with the increase of technology and information, this issue is much more prevalent: buying friendship.
I got to know someone really well (it seemed) by playing in a band with him. He seemed a lot like the brother I wish I had: we met for breakfast sometimes, hung out, and bantered about work-it was great! After a year or so, we were just talking when he mentioned that I ought to look into a business opportunity with him. He said that it was a job that would take me to exotic parts of the world and could mean never having to work in an office again. At first I thought that this might be pretty cool, until I heard him say that all I had to do was front $400.00 to get started-a red flag the size of the Former Soviet union went up for me as I started to immediately think about how to respectively decline and if this guy would still be the cool friend that I thought I had once. Anyway, as I thought about this he went on and on about how he didn't want to work anymore and how this was the best opportunity ever.
Skeptical, I began to ask him more pointedly about just how a person makes money “going on vacation” all the time. He explained that the job involves getting to know other people while on vacation and getting them to “buy in as well.” By this time I was totally thinking PYRAMID SCHEME-RUN AWAY! I couldn't believe that this guy, whom I really respected, could be “sucked” into this. As he could tell that I was not really “buying” it, he offered to loan me half of the $400.00 to get started. Finally, I had to tell him I wasn't interested and that I really didn't think going on vacation all the time to talk to other people about going on vacation all the time (what a preposterous idea huh?) would be that much fun. He was pretty upset, and it has been a long time since we last spoke. This experience really opened my eyes to other instances of this commoditization of friendship. At work, there are people selling Tastefully Simple, Pampered Chef, etc. These people selling these things depend upon their friendships/relationships with others in order to make money. I believe whenever money enters a friendship it really doesn't remain a friendship by the authentic definition; rather it becomes a relationship of co-dependency, guilt, and greed.
Sure, times are tough and extra money is nice, but the line between friend and customer should not be blurred. We as humans ought to respect each other for more than our pocketbooks especially when it comes to friendship.
My sincere hope is that this article will motivate you to re-assess your life and approach to others. Friendship is not a commodity to be traded, but a gift to be cherished.
