The Dating Age

I'm sure you've heard of physical age vs. biological age. The first measures your age in number of years since birth and the latter measures how fast your body has actually aged, based on your life style choices since birth.

I propose another defining state - the dating age.

As we mature, we learn a great many things that all serve to shape our character and personality. We learn a variety of lessons by reading, by watching friends and family go through certain changes and some even by watching television shows and movies. Inarguably though, the lessons we learn from the most, are the hard learned one's, the one's that affected us directly and were situations we were forced to overcome.

I propose that a 40 year old woman, who never married or had children, dates completely different than the 40 year old "single again" woman, who divorced after a 20 year marriage to the same man.

The former is used to frequent dating, easily accepts changes in a relationship and rarely attaches a desire of permanence when her flirty eyes catch a glimpse of someone who makes her want to take a second look.

The latter, however, is used to stability, a certain routine within a relationship. She comes with expectations and hopes of returning to the stability that love once provided her with. Changes in relationship status are harder to accept because she'll feel as though she's failed or maybe sees the dream of permanency slip farther and farther away.

Those belong to the latter category, haven't flirted with a stranger or have actually dated in decades because we were too busy being married. We're just a tiny bit lost because the only experience we have in this field stems from our teenage years, when life was a whole different world and dating came easy. Though we've matured and have learned a lot about the other sex, we've watched our friends divorce and go their separate ways but we never actually walked a mile in their shoes ……. until now. We experienced but we didn't learn. Now, we learn.

So, if you ever come across a 40-year-old woman giggling like a school girl on the phone, a 40-year-old women with a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear, a usually confident 40-year-old woman with uncharacteristic insecurities when faced with a potential new mate, know that you've just witnessed, not the physical or the biological age, but the manifestation of the dating age. …..and if you ever do see such a silly thing, be kind to her. Her dating age will catch up with her physical age - it's just a matter of time - and a matter of gathering new, present time experiences.