The reason why we should deem these two question is because maturity is an important factor that often makes or breaks a relationship. If the "maturity gap" between a couple is too great, there will be a lot of problems with the relationship.
For example, if a man is interested in raising a family while a woman is still in the "I want to party every Friday night and dance with my girl friends" stage, chances are, things are not going to work out in the long-run.
Or, if a woman wants to focus on building a future while the man still acts like a college boy and plays video games for 6 hours a day, sooner or later she'll think he's a loser and leave for a more ambitious man. (I see it happen all the time...)
Of course, you may be thinking, "...if this is a problem...how did they get together in the first place?" Well, first of all, in the short-term, attraction is the biggest factor. If two people are attracted to each other, they will not care about maturity as much. But once they get into a relationship, "Character" and "Intimacy" will come into play. A huge "maturity gap" between the couple will lead to little arguments, which over time will lower the attraction and kill the relationship.
Secondly, people change. Just because your girlfriend was an innocent, trouble-free girl two years ago doesn't mean she will still be the same person in two more years. As humans, we're constantly growing up and re-evaluating our goals and values in different areas of our lives - if we're not lazy "losers" anyway. (I know you're not!)
For example, a common "complaint" that I heard is that they get dumped after their girlfriends enter college or get a new job. Does it mean these women are "liars" who didn't keep their love vows?
I don't think so. They have just moved on to a new stage of their lives. The guys should do the same and see what's out there instead of just clinging on to their pasts. We all have to grow up some time... Or...take the guy going through a midlife-crisis who suddenly wants to become a rock-star at the ripe age of 43. In this case, the person is relapsing to an earlier stage...and that's not going to be very healthful to the marriage or relationship. The wife will either leave him or he'll leave his wife to pursue his rock-star "dreams".
How about you? Are you ahead or are you behind?
If you're WAY ahead, then be patient. Think about the relationship and see if it fits your life-long goals. Don't try to change your partner. It won't work. People have to mature on their own. Sort out your own priorities and see if this relationship is actually good for you. And if you are WAY behind your girlfriend, then you've got a lot of catching up to do.
A LOT of catching up...
I have a story to share. A friend of mine have a partner who's older than him. And even though the age gap is the issue, their maturity gap meets perfectly. This friend of mine catches up the level of maturity of his Girlfriend and believed to be even more way ahead. The result impressed me so much, Now they're happily married couple. What a lovestory!
REMEMBER THE GOLDEN RULE: Grow together, and you'll have a better chance of staying together.
