The Secret of a Long and Happy Marriage

How true - I will email a link to this page to my kids - my daughter is getting married next month. They both need to hear this.

They do happen. This was a helpful article with some very good idea's.

this article is ever so true and reflects exactly what my marriage has been going through.i wish my husband and i had read this article before now.hopefully it will still help us in overcomming our pain caused by lack of communication.

I Have been married 42 yrs, we met when we were 10 yrs old our communication must have started than. we are happy and looking forward to our 50th yr. I would marry this man all over again . first you must be a friend and have trust. love will guide you threw. we have raised 4 children. and had hard times as well as happy. we now live with our oldest Daughter and son-in-law. he treats us with great love and respect. thank you for reading my view on a happy long marriage.

i love this article. i will show my husband so that we will be able to understand each other. thanks

Everytime when we talk about a topic and if he doesn\'t agree, he will cut off the conversation totally by saying \"don\'t talk!\". I HATE it whenever he said it because it cuts off our communication totally and that is mean. I have always told him that I have the right to voice my opinion and he has his right to voice his opinion. We should both talk about things and consider each other\'s opinion and never say \"don\'t talk\". He NEVER listen. He is stubbord and sensitive. Many times when someone said something bad against him or someone don\'t want to share certain information with him when he asked, he will never talk to them anymore. He said it\'s not worth it. For example, when there\'s party with friend or family, he will sit on the sofa and watch TV himself while others are talking in a group. I told him to participate but he said it\'s not worth it. Why does he want to put himself at the corner? How miserable! Why he doesn\'t let go of the pass and move on. Some others don\'t want to talk to him too because they know he\'s stubborn. He has HIGH self esteen, always think he is right, no one can change it decision once he decided. If you don\'t agree with him, he doesn\'t want to talk.

When we have a party with friend, I told him that he has been not been talking with others. His excuse is he doesn\'t like the fact that we moved to sit closer to the friends. Why we have to do the move, to move closer to them. I told our table is only 3 people and the group has 6 people. It make sense for a smaller group to move. I don\'t see it as a big deal because I want to talk with my friend. It\'s an excuse for not talking to my friends.

I love to talk and love someone who has a sense of humur. Life it too short and we need laughters and have happy moments. At home, we don\'t talk much. Every night, he prepares dinner, eat, search computer, watch tv, then go to bed. Night after night the same thing. When we talk, often times I ended up hearing from him \"don\'t talk\". What should I do?

I love this article, it has really enlightened me and i am happy to read at this time of my marriage. thank you so much.

The Secret to a Long Marriage

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful and loving couple." A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon on a pack mule.

We hadn't gone too far when my wife's mule stumbled. My wife quietly said, ‘that's once.’

We proceeded a little further and the mule stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, ‘That's twice.’

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the mule dead.

I started an angry protest over her treatment of the mule, when she looked at me, and quietly said, ‘That's once.’

And we lived happily ever after.

open communication seems to be the \'main ingredient\' why my marriage with my husband of 26yrs. still fluorishes considering the fact that he\'s been away from us(me and our 3 kids) for 16 long yrs. he\'s out of the country for a living and visits us for only 1-2 weeks yearly. he regularly calls us almost everyday... we have our own share of ups and downs but our spirituality makes our relationship stronger. nothing goes wrong if you put GOD in the center of your marriage.

Deep inside this selfish, stubborn, do-not-talk man, there is a beautiful, wonderful and communicative person that has not been tapped. As a wife, if you fail to find or bring out that character from your husband, you will not discover the talent that is also inborn in you. Search for that talent in you and use it on your husband and in this short life of yours, you will have abundance. A hint - you got to become the perfect wife of his dream.

Anyway marriage is all about love and communication. Trust is all among the principles of love and sincerity.

Women say they want you to talk with them ,but when it is something they dont like ,then it is even worse ,then ,not talking.I was dating this lady ,her name was Peggy ,we were a real good match,so alike in many many ways,both even had a devoted kid to fall back on.Anyway we were talking and I was totaly open ,and mentioned that I knew alot about her ,before meeting her ,but I had always said I wanted it to be real ,and for me it was,well she took it as I had preplaned it all.See being the frugal one that I can be at times,and liking to see how much I can learn and do in anything,I had a game I played with myself in learning about anything.Well she took it as I was only dating her for were she lived and so on.The funny fact I live in a much better place and so on.So talking and being honest ,can ruin a good thing with most women ,even if they say be honest and talk,yea ,as long as it is what they want to hear.I guess it is like ,in away ,a mobster wife or daughter ,they live well above the others around them and the wife and daughter many times dont really know ,what is going on to send her to the nice school,are put that nice dress on the wife for church ,so they look like an upper nice family,while the money has come from many of the ills of the world.So yes man has had to shelter woman many times,or not be as open and honest for all kinds of reasons,we are driffrent ,thats the bottom line.

I fully agree with this article and it's what I've been telling him.

I was with a man who is saving up to marry me. But when problems arrived, he chooses to avoid calling me or my calls because he says he's not ready to talk (80% of the time). Even when he was welling to talk after a week of disappearing, he comes up with conclusions like that it'll never be solved, so just let it be.

He told me he's seen his parents fight since growing up, but nothing ever changes or resolves. I know his parents now sleep in separate rooms in the same house but live separate lives and never talks. I think he grew up in an environment where no one communicates except for yelling, and only expresses by actions. He also lives in a tiny comfort zone and refuses to associate too much with the rest of the world outside. I tried to help him walk out of the shadow, but I got too suffocated after doing that for four years.

He does have positive sides such as being very bright, responsible, considerate to everyone, taking initiative to help me and my family, encouraging me to do good and stay healthy. We also share some similar interests and both love animals.

But I left him.
Did I make a mistake? Perhaps, we could have worked something out?

Wow, this is the best article about marriage that I have ever read. We just wedded on 12th January 2008 and where praying that God guides us to a long marriage, then I got attracted to this article. You cannot imagine how I felt. I got my wife and we read it over together. We have decided to print it and have it among our treasures. We will expand it and teach it to the church.

As a Pastor I have met many people whose problems in marriage arise from lack of or poor communication. Marriages especially here in Uganda or Africa is characterised by violence. Men always wanting to dictate while Christian men read Bibles for their wives. the BIbles says, wives submit to your husbands they read.

But we must read the bible for ourselves not others. the bible says Men should their wives as Christ loved the church before wives can submit. Can you imagine how easy it would be for a wife to submit to a Christ like man, who sucrifices all it takes for his wifes safity, health and well-being. Just like Christ laid his life for the church before the church can submit to him, moreover submition is not slavery.

In all everything should be done in Love. Love is not to seek your own gain but to seek the gain of the person you love, with humility and patience.

Love doesn't ask why and this is the reason "FORGIVENESS" has to be the key word in marriage. If you don't count on your spouse faults but keeps seeing the other good side of him/her, your marriage will be a happy one and last forever.

Thanks.

That is What me an my Husband Need more I am going to try an get Him to Talk to Me More .

This is what i have been trying to tell my husband.This is just what we are going through right now.He knows i love him so much but this is the one thing that makes us fight.He always tells me that all it would take is for some guy out there to talk my ear off and it would be that easy for me to cheat.But he says that not because i was looking to but that some guy would use that because I am very trusting.He feels that guys who act that way in a relationship is not being real.That woman want their men to be like a females.He feels that guys perfect the ways of talking.They can even make themself do it even in the best of relationships.Woman want to hear that they are right and if you tell them anything close to that they are not then a fight that never ends.His take to a happy marriage is "she is always right"I think that is sweet that he wants to do that for me but it is not real.My husband also has a very smart attitude so in alot of ways is causes us to fight.WHen you have a husband who acts like that you do play the guessing game.I started reading this out loud to him and he.....walked out of the room...I said hey I was reading this to you and he turned around and just smiled....and kept going......So people who are married and before you get married....This is something to REALLY think about

I'm inspired by this article. I'm not married yet but have a nice friend and we both need to improve our communication. Thank you for sharing this topic.

People are so impatient nowadays. Everyone's rushing to find someone, get married, settle down, and have kids. Call me old- fashioned, but I believe in taking things slow. That's why I never talk on the first date. Or on the second or third date, if I can help it.

I know women want it. I can tell by the way they look at me and ask all kinds of questions about where I grew up, what I do for a living, and what books I've read lately. Hell, most women these days expect us to talk on the first date. They think they deserve it, just because I'm dressed a certain way and sitting across from them while they ask me personal questions.

Well excuse me, but I'm just not that kind of guy. You know the type—talkative. Sure, some people can just move from one conversation to the next, or engage in three-way chats on a whim, but I'm not one of them. I can't just dive into an intimate discussion with a complete stranger. I mean, my God, can't we get to know each other a bit before we go straight into the heavy discussion?

I know what you're thinking, but I'm not a prude. I'm not above nodding on a first date, and if I really like someone, giving one-word answers to a variety of questions. On a second date, after a few drinks, I might tell a quick story. But that's where I draw the line. I have standards, and I'm not going to debase myself by flapping my gums for any woman who agrees to go to my office Christmas party at the last minute.

It's not even like I'm saving my talking for marriage. I just don't want to give away all my anecdotes to the wrong person. I respect myself too much to be bullied into talking to a woman before we've gotten the chance to see if we really connect.

I guess that's just how I was raised.

Besides, when you start off a date right away by saying "Hello" and immediately giving her 10 minutes of back-and-forth that shows that you're both intelligent and entertaining, that's all you're ever going to be in her mind: a great talk. A guy she could just call up whenever she feels like it for some no-strings-attached conversation. It's like my father always said: Why buy the cow when you can talk to the cow for free?

Unfortunately, I had to learn my lesson the hard way. There was this girl I really liked a while back, and I wanted to impress her so badly I ended up opening my mouth before we even got our appetizer. I think I had a little too much wine, because I don't even remember what I said, really.

She kept me around for a few months, but she just used me for my intellect and emotions. She wanted to talk all the time, day and night, without any consideration for whether I wanted to or not. Sometimes she wanted to do it as soon as I woke up in the morning. And when I told her I had had enough and that I never wanted to talk to her again, she stopped calling me altogether. Women.

But I'm not going to give up on my dream. Isn't there anyone out there who doesn't have a one-track mind about interpersonal communication? Are there no women left who will love a guy for who he is, and not just because they've grown to respect him as a human being? Can't I find a nice girl who wants to just sit around at my apartment in complete silence?

I really don't think that's too much to non-verbally ask for.

You are right communication was very important in the relationship. But doo you also know that some men just liked woman they try to trick the partner. Yes they have good communication but how about the criteria? All they want was to trick the partner so the men will marry them. Me and my boyfriend was honest to one another, we have an agreement about the relationship, so far its working out good. We communicate good and try not to argue with one another. We both learn a lot from one another and I feel that both partners needs to be in the same boat this was you can make things work out.

My husband and I will be having our 16 year anniversary on the 4th. Just recently I told me that he is not "in love" with me and is just a shell of a person. He has remained in the home since his confession. We have spent more time "communicating" than ever before. We realized that we have been doing a lot of talking, arguing, and mentioning to each other that we were feeling fragmented but never took the time to delv into it probably due to not having the skills. Hope we can work this out.