It's all pretty self-help and many experts agree, understanding the process can help you cope with feelings and others as death is upon you. I know you're probably aware of the 5 stages, but maybe you didn't think they applied to you because you're a young go-getter and not terminally ill. Well, I'd like to present a new theory: Maybe you're in denial. I know I am, so I'd like to explain to you how these 5 stages may apply to you right now, even in all your health. I believe someone experiencing unrequited love is also going though the 5 stages of death and dying. Let's start with the fundamentals and move on. I'll present to you the 5 stages then explain to you how I've been experiencing the process of death and dying in my recent life.
Stage 1 is denial.
First of all, I'm not in love. I can't be in love. I wouldn't be stupid even to fall in love with someone who doesn't love me back. That's just....well, stupid. I'm confused. It's probably lust. If I just had sex with this person, it'd probably all go away. There, I'm satisfied.
Stage 2 is anger.
I absolutely hate him and myself. This is so wrong. I don't want to feel like this. Love sucks. It sucks and it stinks. You know what? I never want to be in love again. I'm tired of being hurt. I'm tired of listening to country music and crying. I'm going to listen to something else. You need to get away from me because I hate you! This is all your fault. You did stuff to lead me on and fill me with false hope. It's all over. It's all over for you! You don't deserve me and you know it?! There, I'm done!!!
Stage 3 is bargaining.
This is not my favorite stage. You love me, you know you do. I can love you more than anyone else. You don't know what you need. Just give me a chance. I can make all your dreams come true. I would do anything for you. Anything that you asked me to, can you hear me? You love me too. I know you do. Just let me try to be everything you've ever dreamed of. I can, if you just give me a chance. There you are and here I am, can't we try?
Stage 4 is depression.
You're clinical now. Here we go: Insomnia. I can't sleep. I can't sleep, because I'm thinking about you all the time. I want to be with you so bad. I wonder what you're doing while I'm lying here thinking about everything, while I'm lying here thinking about you. Everything reminds me of you. If you could hear this song you would cry, just like I am. It reminds me of you. I feel hopeless now. We'll never be together. I should just give up. Maybe you love another. Maybe you love her. You did this to me. I'm dying because of you. No one will ever love me, and I will never love anyone else as much as I love you. There's nothing I can do to make you love me. I know I'm dying, but I'm still having thoughts of suicide. Death can't come fast enough. I want to be dead now. You did this to me. I'm already dead on the inside. I want to give up. Where's my razor? That's so unoriginal, but tragic. Sleeping pills are too quiet. There has to be a mess. I feel like cutting out my own heart. Blood on the tile floor, pools of it surround me and it's red. There's red everywhere and that's what I want. I'm going to kill myself, before you do it to me. I'm in control. Not you. There, I have the scars now. I guess it wasn't my time. I'm still holding on to you.
Stage 5 is acceptance. You've done everything else you can and there's nothing left to do or say. Damage has been done, but you're ready to move on. Disappear into nothing and face the darkness that everyone must: you have a broken heart. You're unfeeling now. This is what I want. I want to accept what fate is bringing me. I'm not going to love you anymore. I know we will never be together. There's nothing I can do. There, it's all over now.
Things to remember
- Most people who are going through this process want to talk about it. Friends and family should be there and be supportive. I need someone to hold me up. I need you to help me get through this. You don't have to give me advice or know what to say, just be there when I cry.
- Not everyone will go through all five stages. Other people, like me, will exhibit symptoms of more than one stage at a time. The stages are not in a definite order. Besides acceptance, they may all reoccur multiple times. Most of my time is spent in stages 1 and 4, but everyone is different. I wish I could get stuck in stage 2 before moving on to acceptance. I guess I'm in stage 4 right now because I don't think I will ever get to the final stage. When will I reach my acceptance?
