"You can't help who you love." This sentence pretty much sums up the way our world views the word "love". It is a mysterious, unpredictable force that unexpectedly grabs people, at random. Love is something that we fall into and have no control over where it takes us.
But is this really what God created love for? Where does such a definition of love lead us?
Imagine, if you will, a common scenario. Two people meet by chance and "hit it off". Both are excited and experiencing new emotions and new thoughts. A feeling of euphoria fills them both and before you know it, they say these words to one another: "I Love You".
Let's fast forward 6 months and see where this same couple is. The excitement is gone. They are once again caught in daily routines and their individual lives. Even worse is that the flaws, that in the beginning were easy to overlook, are now grating on their nerves. They find no happiness in each other or their relationship.
What happened? These two who were so "in love", end up more alone than before.
Now let's look at another area where love comes up. In the Bible, Jesus is asked which commandment is the greatest. In response, Christ announces this:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself."(Matthew 22:37-39).
Christ said that the greatest command that God has ever given mankind is to LOVE Him and the people He created. But we say that "You can't help who you love". How than can God ask us to do something that we can't decide to do? He didn't!
The problem lies with our definition (or lack thereof) the word "love". For us it is immaterial, invisible, and mysterious. We fall in and out of it. Entire wars have been fought over this single concept. And yet, we have no idea what it means. Dictionary.com defines the word as a noun meaning a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. This is vague at best! I have profound tender affection for lots of things. But this word has to mean more.
I propose to you that love is not a noun at all. It is not a person, a place, or a thing. The word love, as mentioned by God Himself, must be a verb. For those of you who have been out of school entirely too long, a verb is an action word. It implies that some sort of action is taken place. With this in mind, read what God asks of us one more time:
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. And... love your neighbor as yourself."
Doesn't that change some things? Doesn't that change everything! God isn't asking us to have some affectionate feelings for him. Those pass away. Feelings can be influenced, manipulated and lost. God is asking us to take action! He is calling us to do something.
What is God's definition of love? You've heard it before, but I'll tell you again:
"Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8).
This is what God says it means to love! It isn't a mystery, its a choice. Imagine what would happen if we turned this sort of love on each other. If we turned to our spouse and said "I will love you" and make that commitment to be patient, kind, forgiving. Always pressing on. Keeping faith in God and never giving up. Imagine if we valued the truth... and practiced it! Imagine if instead of waiting to fall in love, we own love! What would happen if we chose our husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, rather than letting some mysterious entity do it for us! Love is a choice and its about time we either choose to love or stop using the word to define our petty, fleeting human emotions.
