Have you ever noticed that some time after the 6th month in a relationship, or after the two of you have moved in together, your partner somehow starts to slack off? The text messages, the flowers, they've somehow disappeared. The chasing is gone. Do they think that they've won us over? If so, what have we done to make them think as such? Better yet, have we even done anything to show that we have been won over?
I've been in quite a few relationships before and this seems to be the pattern. No matter what I have done, we seem to fall into this "slacking off" period; with ease even. Oddly enough, it is just us women that realize it. Do our partners realize it too or are they actually playing dumb, and stringing us along like puppets? Now the question is; how do we get back on track?
Let's see, I've tried the "complaining" method. Sadly, it did not work. I sounded more like an unappreciative girlfriend who was always having PMS. I've also tried the "reverse" method where I start sending him texts and IM's, in hopes of getting a response from him; but instead, it backfired with something like, “Honey, why are you wasting a text message when we live together?” or “We just saw each other last night.” Clearly not the “Ahw, I miss you too dear!” response I was hoping for. I've also tried the "nonchalant" method which failed miserably. He became even more oblivious to the situation at hand.
So what is it that we can do? After all that we have tried, how do we tell them that we desire for their affection. We don't have to be made love to every night. We don't want expensive gifts. All we want is the affection they used to show us while they were "chasing" after us. It is not the big gestures, but the little ones like holding hands, confessing the love they have for us, looking into our eyes dreamily, are the actions that truly count. Let's face it, women love affection. Even though we know they love us, it doesn't hurt for them to be the one to say "I love you honey!"
I have decided that sometimes withdrawing yourself a little from the relationship might help. Men desperately seek the thrill of the chase. What I've come to understand is that men love challenges and they see us as none different than a "challenge". As soon as the challenge is gone, so is his desire to chase it. By withdrawing ourselves, it creates an open window where they may begin to wonder about us; which in turn, re-creates the chase he used to have to do when we first started out. It may take some time before they come around but perhaps, that is what we need to do; that is to make them "chase" after us again, just like how they used to when they first started courting us. After all, it is in their nature.
