Whenever you're in a relationship, it is a personal choice to love. I have learned that no relationship is perfect, and the needs of your mate constantly changes, but in order to have a long-lasting happy relationship, you have to make a conscious decision that I will love this person through the good and the bad.
One of the biggest misconceptions about love is what I call, “ the good feeling syndrome. ” Love can never be based on feelings alone. There will be times when the one that you love will disappoint you, make you angry, and do or say something really stupid, but it's during these times that true love will override the way that I'm feeling about you at this time. One thing that I have come to accept is that love is an on-going process. Falling in love is the easy part. Staying in love takes work.
During my 18 years of marriage, there have been many times when I didn't want to come home, and my wife didn't want me to come home, but when we got married, we vowed to be together for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health "till death do us part. This is a decision, and has nothing to do with how we feel. No matter the circumstance, we have decided nothing can separate us. Don"t get me wrong, feelings are a major part of the equation, but it's our love for each other that stands when the feelings are not there at the moment.
Now on the flip side of that, I also believe that no one should ever stay in a relationship where there is physical, emotional, mental, or verbal abuse. To stay in a relationship like that is not love, but stupidity. I also don't believe that anyone should stay in a relationship where there is habitual infidelity, mainly due to health issues. Regardless of how much you love a person, you should never risk your own physical well being.
When dealing with your love issues, also be careful who and where you get advice from, if any at all. Many relationships have ended because the wrong person gave wrong advice. Make sure the person who you receive from has been through what you are going through with successful results. Even with advice, you have to make the decision to apply it or not, because what may work for one person may not necessarily work for you.
When it comes to love, you have to get to know that one that you are in a relationship with, and consistently make the necessary adjustments to have a rewarding love affair, especially if the other party is a willing participant. I've found out in my relationship that if I do all I can do to love my mate, then in return I will receive the same.
Being in love is a beautiful thing for me. I see it like investing in the stock market. It initially involves a lot of time and work, but in the end, the returns are sweet and perpetual.
