Some men just cannot resist when they quarrel with their girlfriends or wives, especially when they feel that they have done nothing wrong. Most often a situation like this ends up in a not so very nice way. Some men exchange painful words with women, some break up with them, and some even hurt them physically.
I have been in a relationship with my wife for twelve years now. Like other couples, we had both fun times and rough times together. During the start of our relationship it was like the Dark Ages. There were days that never ended without us quarreling. Most quarrels started from just simple arguments about simple things and ended up with us hurting each other's feelings. One day I have decided that I should do something about it because it was not healthy for our relationship and I never wanted to lose her. So I tried a lot of solutions to deal with her when we start to quarrel. It was like “trial and error” until I have finally found out that there are only two simple things that I can do to avoid hurting her feelings when we quarrel and ending up loving each other more than before.
Stop Talking: Just Look and Listen
My wife talks a lot when she is angry (I guess most women do). What I do is just let her talk while I look at her straight in the eyes and listen. By doing this, the noise is minimized and the possibility of other people being able to hear us quarreling is lessened. And through this, I am able to better control my temper to prevent myself from exchanging nasty words with her. I am also able to analyze the situation and think of ways to pacify her emotions. After a while, when she has said everything she wants to say, she gets exhausted from talking, keeps quiet, and rests.Apologize, Then Explain
I have noticed that one way of calming down my wife when she is angry is by first apologizing to her before I say anything else. Most couples that I know find it hard to end their arguments with their partners. I have realized that the reason behind this is because they always want to put the blame on their partners. Nobody admits that it is his or her mistake. I am guilty of being like this before when my wife and I argue. But as I grew older, I became more emotionally and mentally mature. I thought that during quarrels there is nothing to lose if I will be the first one to apologize to my wife, whether it is my fault or not. After asking for forgiveness, I explain my side to her. And this makes her calm down, analyze the situation, and make up with me.
This solution has worked for me and my wife to stay together for a very long time. I am very happy and proud that whatever problem we have, nothing stops us from keeping our relationship from getting stronger than ever. Until now, I am still learning of how to make a more fruitful relationship with my wife. I know that ours is a relationship that is not perfect, but what we have is a relationship that is worth fighting for.
