We all have well meaning friends that just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. They always manage to say the wrong thing and we are left feeling less worthy or worse yet we feel stupid and like our feelings aren't important. As a best friend or even a friend at all, its important to know when to listen and when to offer advice.
When our best friend breaks up with her guy or her guy breaks up with her, it is not the time to tell her he was worthless at best and she is better off without him. She really doesn't need to hear that right now. In fact, all she really needs is for you to listen. She just wants to vent so let her. Go for a walk and let her vent vent vent those feelings of frustration and pain that she is suffering.
Nor is this the time to tell her that you just saw him with another gal at the corner cafe. If you were a true friend you would've managed to walk by him and say hello thus letting him know that you know he is out with someone else. Then he knows the gig is up and he has to confess, after all, you are her best friend aren't you?
Telling your best friend everything that you didn't like about her former beau is not in good taste either. For one, she is probably already aware of his shortcomings. Another is that in spite of his shortcomings she may still have feelings for the creep and if they were to get back together you might have to deal with her telling him what you think of him. Neither of which you really wish to do.
Nor is this a good time to tell her that you dated him in Middle School or High School. If she didn't already know this now is a very poor time to tell her, after all, as her friend you should have already told her about this as soon as she began dating him.
Telling your friend, "You'll get over him and someone new will come along" is also in poor taste at this time. Right now your friend doesn't want to "get over him" and she certainly isn't ready for another relationship this soon.
This is also not a good time to try to get your friend to date your single brother or cousin that is coming to town. She isn't ready for a relationship so soon after a break up and you wouldn't want your brother or cousin to wind up hurt because she is on the rebound.
Spend some extra time with your friend over the next several weeks. Encourage her to expand her interests and join in with her to keep her busy and occupied. The toughest things are going to be filling the time that they used to spend together and avoiding the places and things that they used to do. Walk through the pain with her and lend a listening ear without judgment as much as possible. If you really have a comment ask yourself first how you would feel if it were you and someone was making that comment in your situation. Keep her laughing and busy and within a few short months your friend will be ready to rejoin the world again and be stronger and happier. She will also appreciate having a friend like you to lean on in time of trouble like this.
