When you are a newlywed sometimes it is hard to distinguish between what is ok and what is not ok to say to the opposite sex or someone other than your husband or wife. Many newlyweds have to play the guessing game at first since marriage is such a new thing in their lives. There are also many people who know what to say and what not to say because of having dated for so long and having been in previous relationships. For those of us however that doesn't know what is appropriate or inappropriate to say to someone other than your husband or wife this guide will be very helpful for you and definitely keep you out of trouble. This guide will cover what not to say to your husband or wife as well as things not to say to other people when you are married.
First and foremost you should never talk over excessively (and in some cases at all) about an ex lover to your husband or wife. From personal experience when my husband mentions his ex fiancé it makes me feel as though he is comparing me to her and upsets me greatly. It also makes me feel as though he still thinks of her often and just can't forget about her. This works both ways as men hate hearing about other men and women hate hearing about other women. There are however the spouses that are curious and because of this you have to learn when your spouse really wants to know something about an ex and when they are just seeing if you still think about them.
When you are married it is always inappropriate to speak to an ex in any way other than just another person. The only time that there is any reason to speak to an ex in any other way is when you have children with the ex, in which case you must interact with that ex and your new husband or wife must understand this. If an ex is only an ex however, then it is never ok to speak to them in a way that will upset your spouse. This includes NEVER saying anything along the lines of “I still have that bear you gave me, it stays in the bed with me all the time”, “Do you remember that picture I took of you naked”, “I still have all those photos of you hid”, “I still have the dog we bought together”, “I'm wearing the sweater you bought me”, or anything else that makes someone remember times you had with them. This not only gives the wrong impression to your ex, but your spouse as well. Your spouse finding out that you still hold on to things that your ex gave you is a big indicator that you are still holding on to memories and feelings for that person.
When married it is essential that you pay close attention to relationships you have with people of the opposite sex, or same sex depending upon your sexual orientation, to be sure that no relationship is being misled or getting out of hand. There should never be anything said that could make your spouse think that it is more than it really is. You should never comment in any sexual way about someone other than your spouse nor should you ever speak with your spouse and constantly mention things about someone you know that is of the opposite sex. These things show your spouse that you are paying much to close attention to other people and may seem as though you are board with them.
Below is a list of common things that are said, that should not be said to other people when you are married:
- “I like that shirt; it makes your chest look big”
- “Those pants make your butt look cute”
- “Hey there, you sure are looking good today”
- “We need to spend some time together in my office”
- “Your sandwiches are much better than my wife's”
- “I like your hair; it makes your beautiful face stand out”
- “My wife never looks as good as you do”
Keep in mind that if you pay attention to your words, it can keep you out of arguments and keep your spouse from being overly jealous. If you show you can be trusted, then you will be trusted.
