In most relationships, we consider our most compatible mate to be the one who we share the most in common with and one who satisfies our physical, emotional and/or spiritual needs. But what happens when we rely on another person to meet these needs? Is it cheating? What is cheating? Can it be a kiss, a lustful thought or phone, cyber or physical sex?
I'd say all of the above. Despite my healthy marriage, I've been a victim of cheating several times and have played the role of the cheater too. Based on personal experiences, I would define cheating as acting physically, emotionally, or mentally (without a mate's knowledge) on a desire for a person other than the mate.
There are three degrees of cheating: physical, emotional and mental cheating. Most think of cheating as only a physical act. The notion that cheating can only occur physically is false. It is possible to cheat without having physical contact with a person. This is called mental cheating. It is having thoughts or fantasies of being intimate with another person other than your mate. Examples of mental cheating are phone sex, cyber sex and masturbation. Though these are only fantasies, each thought comes with intentions of actions. Mental cheating usually sparks sexual excitement and may be followed by satisfaction of the excitement through self-pleasure to the point of climax or mental plans of making these fantasies reality. Though actions may speak louder than thoughts, actions are usually the result of thoughts.
There is also such a thing as emotional cheating. This is the exchange of personal information with someone other than your mate to satisfy your emotional insecurity. This qualifies as cheating because communication is how we form relationships. This is how we show interest in a person or determine whether we are compatible with someone. This usually creates a bond between two people and can cause the development of other needs from the person.
The most threatening degree of cheating is physical cheating. This consists of kissing, touching, and physical sex with a partner other than your mate. This degree of cheating is most threatening because it's a combination of mental and emotional cheating followed by actions. This degree of cheating weakens the bond between you and your mate and causes other problems in the relationship. With the addition of problems, you may rely on the other partner.
What determines when cheating is taking place? To determine whether cheating is actually taking place, ask yourself this question, would I tell my mate? If the answer to this question is no, then cheating has definitely taken place. Cheating is ot a matter of more than one mate; it is whether those individuals are aware of each other. The moment that you decide to keep a person a secret from your mate is the moment which defines cheating. However, no matter which degree of cheating is committed, cheating is cheating.
