Nice people are attractive
Someone else won't find you attractive just because you're being "nice." Nice can be a bonus, like getting a refund on your bank charges, but it's not the nice, sweet behaviour that makes one person attracted to another. When you try to get a potential partner's interest or attention by appealing to their personal interests like a good friend would, they not only won't feel a spark for you, but they'll possibly lose interest in you when they see you trying so hard to win their approval. They will sense you aren't being genuine.
Nice people are honest about how they feel
Always think before you act on your instincts - behave and communicate in ways that your date is actually responsive to rather than always relying on the actions that come to you instinctively or act through emotions that you aren't fully in control of.
Have you been brought up to believe it is right and honest to always share how you feel about situations? When the feelings are positive than that can be a way of getting closer to someone..,When a negative emotion becomes so strong that it actually becomes you, your behaviour and your sole motivation... then you're out of control.
In fact emotions can actually trick you into trying to control others, just to get back to where you feel comfortable. Then instead of simply communicating in a nice way what it is that you're going through and what you want, you actually try and make the other person feel the bad things that you feel. Some people refer to it as "winding someone up". The short-term payoff for this is usually some sense of immediate relief or resolution when you get the reaction you want. You get your feelings off your chest and get
to release them, which can feel great at the time.
But the long-term effects aren't so sunny because your partner's perception of you will have changed for much longer than it took to get things off your chest. They will be more apprehensive about you once they have seen you lose it, or made them lose it with your actions.
Is that what you want in the long term or wouldn't it be better to learn to control your negative emotions? You have to stop thinking about what you've learned about being "in touch" with all of your emotions and realize that a partner's attraction isn't triggered by you being everything that you feel. That's a nice fairy tale, but it's a lie.
Your friends, your parents, your family might give you unconditional love and understanding when you behave in a certain out of control way, but your partner won't start to feel love, passion and connection with you if you're playing out all the things you feel with them.
Nice people are likeable because they are reliable
Keep your date on their toesrather than giving in to all their wishes. Most men by the way know they can be lazy and not make the effort when they feel secure and will admit this.
