When a couple first get together, they are often so starry eyed and "in love" that they can easily be blinded by obvious faults, that their friends may notice right away. Even after they find out what their boyfriend or girlfriend is really like, they may still stay with them because they are afraid of being on their own or at "failing" at another relationship. If any of the following traits describe your relationship you would be better of going your separate ways.
He/she is controlling and wants to know of your every move
A person who wants to control your every move obviously has some insecurity issues to deal with. Perhaps they were in a previous relationship where they were cheated on and they are worried in case this is going to happen to them again. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is unable to overcome their feelings, do you really want to stay with them and have to account for every innocent move you make each day? It can become very draining. It is so much easier if there is mutual trust in a relationship, rather than suspicion.
They cannot stop talking about their previous relationship and making comparisons
There is a big difference between making a passing comment about how a previous relationship ended to then comparing your current boyfriend or girlfriend to the ex. Even if they were better cooks, more attractive or had more in common with you than your current partner, keep your feelings to yourself, unless you want to drive your current partner away. If you find that you are being unfairly compared on a regular basis, discuss this with your partner. If it continues, then you may want to end the relationship. After all, no one wants to be viewed or treated as second best, especially not with an ex!
They try to isolate you from your family and friends
A person who says he or she loves you but then does all in their power to keep you apart from your family and friends does not really have your own best interests at heart. Why would anyone want to keep you apart from the people you care most about, unless of course they are abusive towards you and your partner wishes to protect you? If you notice that your partner always wants to keep you to themselves for no apparent reason, ask yourself why that is. Also, try to look ahead to the future. If you stay with this person and one day marry them, how can you be sure that they will not continue to isolate you?
Your partner is abusive
An abusive partner is not worth being with. It is as simple as that. Do not think that you cannot do any better and that they are "really nice" normally. A person who abuses you verbally, sexually or physically is a very dangerous person to be around. Do not be mistaken into thinking that you can change the person. Many abusers will not change however many times they fall into your lap crying and begging for forgiveness. If you threaten to leave but then receive a marriage proposal, do not be fooled. A person who is willing to abuse you before marriage will not hesitate to do so after they have slipped the ring on your finger. At least if you leave now, you can avoid the trauma of an abusive marriage and a potentially nasty divorce.
Your partner is cheating on you
If you find out that your partner is cheating on you, then you are faced with two choices. Either take them back and risk going through it all again or break off the relationship and start your life afresh. Your partner may be sorry for what they have done and promise to remain faithful in future, but can you trust them again? The doubts may never go away if you stay with them. If you then decide to get married somewhere down the line, can you be sure that this will not happen again? There is a lot to think about and weigh if this happens to you.
You are not compatible and you argue all the time
The reason you are in a relationship is to find out if you are compatible with one another, possibly in preparation for marriage. But if after a while you find that you are not compatible and you argue all the time, then it may be time to call it a day. The person you thought was your "soul mate" may not be after all and this can be hard to accept. No one wants to admit they are with the wrong person, but isn't it better to work it out before someone gets hurt or the relationship progresses too far?
Ending a bad relationship is not going to be easy. Admitting that you misjudged a person's character and their feelings for you may put a dent in your pride, but it is far better to find out early on before you get too deeply involved and decide to get married. You owe it to yourself to be happy, healthy, and to be well taken care of in a relationship, not be controlled, abused or compared to any other person. You are not going to be like any exes in your partner's life. If they were so wonderful, why are they exes anyway? So consider how you want to be treated in your relationship. If you see any signs of abuse or mistreatment, walk away while you can.
