Cheating is the act of being unfaithful to a mate, and this not only refers to legally married couples, but to any monogamous couple with the expectation of exclusivity in their relationship. Although cheating is a subjective term, in which men have a more rigid definition than women (meaning that less is considered cheating), the definition of cheating is much simpler than we think.
Some people tend to think that one is cheating only when they have sexual intercourse with another. This is a definition probably shared by all men who are in relationships, but continuously meet women that they didn't know before, and call them a friend. But should a man in a monogamous relationship be out meeting random female friends? My thought on that is no, but some do it.
Cheating should be defined as doing anything that would be unacceptable to your SO (significant other)-either on the giving end or the receiving end. So, if you approach another, the way you converse with them should be in a manner as if your SO was around, or if you can share the conversation with your SO word-for-word. When you fail to govern yourself accordingly, then your acts should be considered cheating. With this definition, any acts that may lead to cheating will be eliminated, reducing the opportunity to actually cheat. It is also hard to disagree with this definition, because the question becomes: Do you have something to hide?
Doing things that your other half wouldn't agree with means that there is a side of you that you are, in fact, hiding. When you participate in conversations, via telephone, online chat, or in-person, you should handle these conversations so that the person clearly understands that you are involved with someone and not looking for anything romantic. But because men are very secretive and more prone to cheat (or get caught cheating), they feel that if they are adults, how they conduct themselves is totally up to them, and you should have nothing to do with it if it doesn't involve you. Taking on this attitude about things is suspect behavior, and you should be cautious, as well aware, that your SO may be mingling a little bit too much.
How do you determine if someone is exhibiting this “unsportsman-like” behavior? Below are a few things to watch out for.
- Watch the number of times he abruptly ends telephone calls when you come around. If he is having conversations that may not get your stamp of approval, he will definitely end them when you are present.
- Watch his level of discomfort in public places. Guys who are out playing the field when you are not around tend to get shifty when in situations that would usually be more comfortable for them, remove you. They probably even act as if they don't want to be there, or are in a hurry to leave.
- Watch those “friends” that he seems to have, but you've never met. These may be people who get to see his other side, because if they are just friends, then it shouldn't be a problem for you to meet them and/or be involved in how they deal and what they do.
- Watch out for defensiveness. Guys get really defensive when doing things that they don't have any business doing. If you ask him a question, and he acts as if you're asking him to pull off his underwear in the park in broad daylight, then there may be something that he's seeking to cover up from you. Like say, stains!
