Here are some signs that you're in the negative zone in a woman's mind:
- She avoids talking to you in person.
- She never answers your emails, phone calls, or messages.
- She has rejected you within the past 3 months.
- She has dumped you within the past 3 months.
- She calls you "annoying" - and she means it.
- She seems to be afraid of you.
- She doesn't look like she wants to talk to you at all.
- She has told you to "give up" on her.
- She gives you an excuse every time you ask her out.
When you're in the negative zone, the only thing you can do is wait. Time is the only thing that can pull you out of the negative zone - because when you're in a woman's negative zone, ANYTHING you do will only be seen as "annoying" to her. (This is why I always stress you should avoid getting into her negative zone in the first place.)
If you find yourself in the negative zone, just move on to another woman. Remember: the more you ignore reality, the harder it will hurt you later on.
Why Women Leave Men
When a woman leaves a man, it's always because of one single reason - a lack of attraction.
It's not because she has found a new man. It's not because she doesn't trust her boyfriend or husband anymore. It's not because she thinks he is "too good for her."
These are all excuses that women use. The REAL reason for any woman to breakup with her lover is due to a lack of attraction. Always.
I want you to imagine a balance scale in front of you.On one side is whatever problem your relationship is facing. On the other side is a woman's attraction for you. If theattraction is greater than the negative forces, she'll stay with you. Otherwise, she's leave you in a heartbeat. It's as simple as that.
Using this model, you can see how attraction is always the underlying force that makes or breaks a relationship. If the attraction is high...
- She won't leave you because you've made a tiny mistake. ("Mistakes" are just "excuses" for a woman to breakup with a man!) Even if you do make a mistake, if the attraction is great enough, she will forgive you.
- She won't think you're "too good for her."
- She won't choose her family, culture, or religion over you.
- She won't fight with you everyday.
And the list goes on and on...
In short, if the attraction is strong, the chances of a woman staying in a relationship with you will be MUCH higher. Heck, if she likes you enough, you won't be able to pry her off with a crowbar. This is exactly why most men are dead wrong when it comes to fixing their relationships. They fight and beg and promise to "change themselves"...when the women they love is really not leaving them just because of whatever problem the relationship is facing...but because of a lack of attraction.
Let's Put it this Way:
The "reasons" for the breakup are merely the "symptoms"...the underlying cause is always a lack of attraction, get it?
How To Undo Damage You've Done With A Woman
I am often asked, "How can I undo the damage I have already done to a relationship, such as not acting enough of a challenge to a woman or getting into a big argument with her?"
Unfortunately, this is no magic fix. You can't just go back in time and "fix" any damage that has already been done.
Let me show you what I mean...
Whatever situation you're in right now, you're only in it because of your past actions. For example, if your girlfriend finds you too needy and wants some "personal space" right now, it's because you were too needy IN THE PAST. And since you can't go back in time and live your life again, there's nothing you can do right now that can "reverse the damage".
However, never forget that your future will one day become your present, and when that happens, your present will become your past. What this means is that whatever you do NOW will affect your future. So while you can't go back in time and "reverse" the damage you've already done, you can take action now to make things better for the FUTURE.
For example, if you have always been needy in the past, you can't just call a girl and "promise" her you will give her lots of personal space from now on. You can, however, ACT independent from this moment on, and if you're lucky, in a few months she may stop seeing you as a needy person.
Here's another example...
If you've just got into a big fight with a woman, instead of doing further damage by proving to her that you're right, you can just let the issue cool down and work on ATTRACTING her.
Here's the bottom line: If you just keep fighting, her attraction for you will keep dropping. But if you stop fighting and start attracting again, in a few months she may be so attracted to you again that she'll forget about the fight completely.
In short, always look towards the future and never dwell on the past. what done is done. You can't change your past. Focus on shaping your future instead!
Lastly, don't forget that it is much logical to PREVENT making dating mistakes than to REGRET making them later on. Too many guys come to me for help only AFTER they have done a great deal of damage to their relationships or to their love lives.
Solution? Play the love cop. Look at your love life and relationship objectively. Try to see if you're "missing" anything or making any costly mistakes. Never get cocky and stop improving your love life.
so what you can't see will eventually kill you. Just like a car, we each have blind spots in our love lives. For example, you could be doing things that are driving women away RIGHT NOW without even knowing it. Your job as a Smart Dater is to identify each of your blind spots and overcome them one by one. We ALL have areas that we need to work on more - even me.
