Why is It So Hard for Singles to Hook Up?

Finding a way to meet other single people is getting to be a real problem. The opportunity to meet other people in general is more challenging. When I talk with other single people they tell me that they work all day and go home. Period. No one invites them to that great party where they can meet other singles. Fewer people throw such parties any more because they have to work the next day or they have other commitments. The people I know who are over 40 and single have no desire to go to a bar to meet someone. Young people in their twenties and thirties may have no problem with this and more power to them.

Back in the day when most women did not work outside the home, they were the ones who orchestrated lawn parties, birthday parties, card parties, block parties, New Years bashes, etc., many times with the aim of getting single friends and neighbors to meet one another. Socializing was much easier for everyone then because women in the home were better able to plan and execute these parties because they had weeks to plan the events and time to cook the food, arrange seating, mail invitations, decorate and clean up after wards. There is much that goes into throwing even the smallest party. How many of us have the time or energy today after working all week?

In the last fifty years we have seen an erosion of social skills and practices. We have voice mail, ATM machines, faxes, text messages, etc. Fewer and fewer personal exchanges with real people are the norm. This has resulted in the difficulty of single people to meet and get to know one another. I think people are starved for interaction with real people. When a person has little interaction with others they find it hard to develop the social skills they need. That's what we used to call the social graces. Having little practice with social skills results in clumsy and awkward conversation. To become adept at social skills requires practice, especially with the opposite sex.

Not long ago I was at the checkout of a department store when the man ahead of me turned and made a joke about something he had bought. We both laughed and looked into each other's eyes. He was tall with blue eyes and the cutest grin. In that instant there was an attraction. Oh no! What do I say? I could see he was like me, struggling for something else to say, some way to connect. He hesitated, looking at me while the cashier handed him his change. Reluctantly, he turned and was gone. After that day I thought about what might have been. Maybe I should go around with little paper tabs to pull off with my phone number ready to give to every suitable guy I see.

I do believe that very soon single people will take matters into their own hands by designing forums and venues to make it so much easier to meet each other. I am beginning to see Matchmaker services come to play and they are very successful. The internet dating services are now one of the easiest ways to meet people. You know what they say: Love will find a way.