In most relationships, certainly in the beginning, this is just not a consideration.
However, as relationships age, your partner or spouse, may be tempted by "the grass is
greener on the other side" syndrome. When you take into consideration the stress of
parenthood, mortgages and the like, and you are now "grown-up", with all the responsibilities
that this involves, the bubble of new love tends to deflate somewhat.
This is when the temptation to stray can rear its ugly head. It is a fact of life,
that familiarity breeds contempt, and maybe, that "first thing in the morning" look
has become more dishevelled, rather than tousled. Talking about these things, openly, now,
is a good way to lessen the possibility of the actual fact later down the line.
By realizing this now, you can get into the habit of healthy emotional conversation - rather
than finding out too late, that one or the other partner does not have the skills to
elaborate on their feelings. This can only deteriorate into ill-feelings, or more likely,
pushing one partner into regrettable actions.
Being cheated on is devastating, if it is not, you cannot have really cared to begin with.
One cannot take cheating lightly because of the pain and grief it causes both partners.
Betrayal, sense of self worth, and self esteem are only a small part of the negative emotional
results.
Provided your relationship is healthy, flirting with others is quite acceptable - provided you
don't go overboard. Flirting should be fun, not dirty or harrassingt. A caring partner will be
mindful of the boundaries, and gently advise their spouse as to the limitations therein.
Not everyone understands the rules, though.
Some people are socially dislexic and just cannot
see the boundaries. Then again, some people are just so determined to have their own way, that
they do not care who is hurt, in their quest for personal gratification.
It takes willpower to walk away from temptations, or ones desires; to say no, to back up what
you say and be truly caring about your partner or spouses feelings. If your partner is not
particularly strong willed, back them up to make them stronger, praise the fact that they are
kind hearted, or caring - give them confidence in their love for you.
Try not to beat this subject to death, when discussing it with your partner, and remember - this
is a discussion, there are no right and wrong answers. Talk about how the both of you would
feel and what would cause the both of you to entertain any thoughts of cheating,
If your spouse has never considered the subject previously, they may not even be certain of
their own views on the matter. Take your time in this. If your force the issue, it may very
well seem like accusation - avoid this at all cost.
Would cheating be caused by something physical, like not receiving enough affection or something
emotional, like not feeling appreciated or loved?
You want facts that will help you both
understand what your needs are so you'll not look elsewhere.
If your partner feels neglected, taken for granted, or that "you just don't listen", you
may very well already be facing problems.
Regardless of what anyone may say, we all seek love and need acceptance in our society and
this does not change once we enter relationships. When we do not feel we are getting these
things from the ones we love, we seek it from others!
Talk about cheating in relationships in general before the opportunity presents itself to either
of you.
Remember, a relationship is a partnership.
