Unwanted pregnancies have become a common thing in society. Despite the campaigns made to suppress unwanted pregnancies, more and more women still commit the mistake of bearing unwanted babies. Sex before marriage is one factor resulting to unwanted pregnancy. Most victims are students who are not ready to face the responsibility and consequences of bearing children.
I am one of those people who are strict with morality. I abide to the rule that sex before marriage should be strictly avoided. Quoting my teacher in high school, “If you love me, don't destroy me.” I had always been aware that consenting to sexual intercourse prematurely could cause a great problem. Much worse, it could ruin my life and damage my future. Falling in love intensely and giving myself to the opposite sex before marriage was always a no-no for me. I strictly implemented that to myself, or so I thought.
Falling in love in college was the last thing on my mind. I was not into boys. For me, the opposite sex was a nuisance to my plans for the future. I had several guy friends, but none of them had made a significant mark in my young heart. There were admirers and suitors, all of which were declined blatantly, until this one certain guy came to my life unexpectedly.
I came “home” from school after a tiring day. “Home” was the boarding house I resided in with other college students who were oceans away from their home lands. I found my roommate talking to a guy inside our room. I was a bashful girl, then, afraid to look into others' faces when introduced. I found out he was her brother. I had little inkling that that one meeting was the start of the drama in my life.
My roommate's brother came to live in the same boardinghouse with us, albeit in another room. He befriended me and all other girls in the boarding house. He was charming and most girls, I suppose, had an eye on him. That doesn't include me. I was aloof and indifferent. I treated him like I would any other guy. My indifference must have challenged him. He befriended me more despite my indifference to him. He even offered help on my math subjects, and encouraged me to do better in school and to discover my talents and strengths more. He proved himself to be a good and indispensable friend. He became my shock absorber, someone who listens to every little word I say, and a friend who was always there during rough times in my life. We became very good friends, and after almost two months of courting, we became steady.
There were many times in our relationship when temptation was great. But I had always been firm. I always tell him that sex can wait after college and after marriage.
Time passed and he graduated from college. He went to Manila and found himself a job as an intern at a ship manning company. We communicated through snail mails. After several years, I finally graduated from college while he worked as a seafarer. We seldom hear from each other and we rarely see each other anymore. One time, I received a text message from him, telling me that he had another girl and that the girl might be pregnant. That hurt much. I had no choice but to accept the fact that we were not meant for each other. Our love story doesn't end there, however. He called me one morning, telling me that he was in the city and that he wanted to see me. I met with him, thinking that it was only for friendship's sake now. We met as if nothing had changed. We exchanged greetings and smiled as if nothing had happened that had blotched our relationship. We talked about our past together. We talked about the new girl.
Other factors made my life miserable. I needed him --- my friend and shock absorber --- but he was no longer mine. He told me that he still loved me and if only I could have been more loving and considerate to his needs nothing like that could have happened. He challenged me to fight for him, something which I had no plan of doing. I was angry of his infidelity; I was angry of myself for being so unfortunate in life, for feeling so depressed and miserable. I was desperately looking for an explanation.
After almost six years in a long distance relationship which had finally come to a failure, I got pregnant. It baffled all who knew our story why after he got linked to another girl and we broke up, he got me pregnant. I had mixed feelings. I felt joy knowing that I was going to have a baby, at the same time I was worried because my baby had a hesitant, somewhat immature man, for a father. Worse, marriage plans was a vague thing. The father of my baby was supposed to get married to another girl the following year. I didn't know how I was to explain things to my parents. I didn't know how I would face life being a single mother. I didn't know how I should cope with criticisms of society. I was afraid.
Facing the Problem
I weighed my situation a million times. I thought of possible solutions to my problem. Abortion was not an option. I wanted to keep my baby, supported or not by its father. The fear was there, and the shame of being a single mom, rebuked and prejudiced by society. I conditioned myself to possible reactions my parents would have once they know my situation. When I was ready enough, I went home and told them the truth. It hurt to see my parents cry, to feel their disappointment on me. I told myself to be brave and face the truth. There was no going back. I had to think of the future, for me and my baby.
I went back to the city and got back to work despite protests from my parents. They wanted me to stay with them so I could be taken care of while having the baby. I couldn't stay with them because I didn't want to burden them with the shame of having a daughter who was immoral. I didn't want to burden them with another mouth to feed.
My pregnancy was turning two months when I experienced severe bleeding. A friend rushed me to the hospital. I lost my baby. Losing the baby was more painful than becoming a single mom. I cursed its father, blaming him for the loss. He was hurting, blaming himself for what happened.
It may be true that destiny always finds ways. Destiny is destiny. No one can escape from it. Just when I thought everything was over, something happened. My boyfriend of six years never got married to the other girl. He went back to me. We married. We bore children. Looking back to the past that we once had, we almost couldn't believe we still ended up with each other. We had encountered so many difficult times in our relationship. But we still won, in the end.
I realized that a problem cannot be solved if one turns away from it. The best thing one can do to solve a problem, be it a small one or a big one, is to face it head-on. And head-on, I did.
