The following behaviour patterns can damage relationships and could certainly make your date run if they feel you may use them, whether you mean to or not:
- Having to control your partner's thoughts/actions
- Lack of trust
- Doubting your own attractiveness/obsessive insecurity about appearance
- Constant testing/setting challenges
- Shouting rather than listening and talking
- Excessive competitiveness with partner/keeping scores/oneupmanship
- Always having to be right
- Constant faultfinding/criticism/obsessing about flaws
- Always verbally undermining, in public and privately
- Losing your temper viciously (verbal and/or physical) in arguments
- Passive aggressive behaviour - secretly doing what you say you aren't, being underhanded
- Criticising one thing while secretly fuming about another
- Refusing to forgive
- Constant attention seeking/having to be centre of attention
- Laziness/giving up on yourself or others/refusing to leave your comfort zone
- Not being genuine/honest
- Obsessing about commitment/marriage rather than enjoying what you have and being prepared to wait and see
- Sense of entitlement/chips on shoulder carried over from past relationships
- Expecting a partner to give up certain things they enjoyed, for the sake of the relationship
Be Yourself
Seeking a partner's approval and trying to please them with what fantasy you think they want will never work, although it will get them into bed…once or maybe even twice. Great if sex is all you want, but a dead end for relationships.
Let them be themselves too
Hoping a date will one day change into something else is doomed to failure and if a certain "type" didn't work out last time, chances are this "type" won't in the future - avoid them.
Too Much Too Soon
It may sound really old fashioned but…Don't have sex too early in a relationship. Just because a man has sex with a woman, it doesn't mean that he's spent even a second of his time deciding whether or not he wants to be with her in long term; he hasn't even thought about if he wants anything serious. Admittedly there are increasing numbers of women who are looking for sexual partners rather than relationships - friends with benefits. Let these two groups meet up and make each other happy if that's what rocks their boat but stay away or you will get hurt. It's crucial to find out what your date is looking for before you sleep together!
Women get hurt so many times by giving themselves sexually and expecting commitment in return. There are real men out there who need feelings for a woman to have good sex, so save yourself for them rather than sex obsessed predators or immature specimens.
What are You Looking For?
This is your ideal partner and will help you to sift out the ones that don't match up. But remember, you are NEVER going to find 100% of the qualities you tick in one person and you must be at least 80% flexible! Try writing your ideal date's profile…Just one catch though - because you will never find all the qualities you are looking for in one person, you should try really hard to limit your profile to a maximum "top ten" requirements.
