My sister and I were having coffee one day and she couldn't help but talk non-stop about a wonderful man she met on the internet. Steve was from Northern New Jersey and would ride his motorcycle down to see her every weekend, riding almost 100 miles each way. We joked and discussed what I would say, and next thing you know, I'm signing up.
Online dating has become the singles bars of the 21st century. You can literally pick your next date out by height, weight, hair etc... it's like building the perfect man. But there in no such thing a perfect, everything has a flaw.
Not to say I'm that big of a prize. I'm almost 6' tall, which puts fear into most men 5'10" and under. I am over thirty and never married so I generalized standards that makes me a freak, and I will never be a size 2. I have two little dogs that run my life. But for the most part, I am smart, attractive and I dress up nice.
The First date
I started talking to this guy, Mike. (Names have been changed to protect the stupid.) He was my first online wink and he had a great profile. Dark hair and eyes, 6' tall and athletic. Great Job, wants a family and “looking to meet his one and only.” I read his profile and thought “Wow, I hit the jackpot on my first try!”
We talked online at first then we started instant messaging. I was starry eyed, every time I received an instant message I pictured our future together with this photo and me. We decided to meet at a local restaurant and he said he would be at the bar. I get there, a little late, because I am a woman and that is expected of us. When I walked in I was looking for my Mr. Right, but he wasn't there. There was a man, about fifteen years older than his picture, receding hair line, beer gut, and major razor stubble. He didn't get off his barstool, but call it women's intuition, he didn't look too tall.
All I could think of was where my Mike was. This was a cruel joke. He obviously sent someone in his place to see my reaction. I kept looking around to see if he would pop out of a corner and say “Just kidding.” Never happened. So I decided to make the best of it and have dinner.
He stood up to get our table, and I thought “oh no!” He was about 5'5". I could see over his head. Where was my 6' guy? I know he's hiding in the bathroom, laughing at me the whole time.
I tried to walk a little behind him so it wasn't as noticeable.
As he slugged down his fourth beer in 10 minutes, I couldn't get that thought out of my mind. Why lie? It was obvious he was not who he made himself out to be, but didn't he think I would notice? How do I get out of this?
So I did what every respectable woman would do in this situation. Excused myself to the ladies room and called my sister.
“Save me from the date from hell.”
Five minutes after I returned to the table, my phone rang. There was an emergency and I had to leave. I insincerely apologized, and scooted out the door. I didn't even wait for the bill. I figured if he wanted to lie to me like that, I could return the favor.
I never heard from Mike again.
The Serial Dater
As I was watching my credit card bills, I realized the site was still charging me. I guess after the trial, they kept me on. I was still receiving their emails and would skip over them. It always looked like the same guys. One day, I received this email. Not a wink, a real email. Intrigued, I opened and read it. This guy sounded incredible. We had a lot in common. His picture looked recent and he seemed genuine. He worked in a business I was in for a few years and he was succeeding in it. He was discussing how fake people were on these sites. I sent him back an email joking about my first date. He joked back, claiming I could “run like hell” if he wasn't who he claimed to be. After emailing for a couple of days, he sent me his number. I called “Ted” and he seemed perfect. We were talking about people we knew in the business and how different situations worked. We set up a date for that evening. I wasn't sure what to expect because of my first experience. But when I went to go meet him, I was shocked. He looked like he stepped out of a GQ magazine. We talked for what seemed like forever. He was nice, handsome, and had a great career. I thought we had hit it off. We went out to dinner (with a friend of his) and then played pool. He seemed impressed by me and my career. We joked and laughed. I enjoyed his company and we were discussing our next date. He had to go away for a few days but said he would call me.
