I was brought up to follow rules and to do as my mother told me. To say “Yes please” and “Thank you” when I was offered my Auntie Margret's stale corned beef sandwiches. But first and foremost, I was brought up to follow the rules and teachings of the Bible. Not a strict Christian up-bringing, but I definitely believed in it (back then). You see, back then it was easier to believe in something as simple and safe as God. If my parents couldn't give me an answer to question they always gave me the same response “God did it”, never given that simply, it was always cloaked in cob webbed fibs and uncertainties but that was basically it- “God did it”. And I accepted that as a perfectly reasonable explanation, “God did it”. Why wouldn't I? I'd been taught my entire upbringing that everything was down to him, even if it was a bad thing:
“God did it”
“But, why?” I'd ask when I found Roger, my childhood pet rabbit, dead.
“God always has a reason for taking those close to us, sometimes he tests us” was my mother's reply.
This was my first of many conflicts with God and his "mysterious ways".
As I got older, I began to question the word of God more and more. I began to turn to science for answers and guess what? Science works! There are no grey areas, there are no “Oh...well...you know probably Gravity or something that did it, eh?”. In science, there is a straight answer, obviously some things are left open as science itself is still a fairly young practise, when it's compared to religion, which has been in practise since approximately 1500BC with Judaism, Hinduism stretching back to near 2000BC. Additionally, numbers of religious followers have fallen, for example, the Christian population in the UK has fallen by 18 percent since 1942. Coincidence?
When I voiced my concerns to our church Vicar, I was given the almost annoying reply of “It's all part of God's design”. I was disgruntled at this as I was expecting a, what I would consider to be, more satisfactory answer.
My dilemma was not helped when my younger brother died at the age of nine, from a brain tumour. The cancer, my father told me, that your brother suffered, was not God's will. Already angry that my brother had been unfairly taken from me, I felt that annoying conflict again. My mother had told me after my pet rabbit died that “God always has a reason for taking those close to us”, and then later after my brother died, my father told me it “was not God's will”. How could I have known who to believe? I then decided to go to the local Vicar one last time and he said this: Death is a natural part of life. Sometimes God takes a person because they are sick - like your brother - other times because they are old, or more commonly it is because it is just that person's time. My time will come and so will yours. God has a purpose for us all, and when that purpose is done, He will release our soul and let it ascend to heaven.
Still grieving my brother, I took what the Vicar told me and turned away from God. I felt betrayed, He had abandoned me and family; my brother. I had be been let down by God too many times in my life, I had seen him let other people around the world suffer, I remember the ignorant ponderings of a seven old as I asked my mother “why isn't God giving the African people food?” and I'd get the same waffling and ultimately useless reply, “God works in mysterious ways”.
The Bible teaches that;
On the sixth day, God created the land animals and said “Let us create man in Our Image, after Our Likeliness” and he formed man from the dust in the ground and breathed into him life and man became a living soul. God created them in male and female and called the first male Adam, who called the first female Eve.
Man is a selfish and violent creature. It destroys all of that which surrounds him and then moves on to the next place and destroys everything there, and then moves on again, again and again. Man is a walking, talking, parasite - a virus. So God, then, can not be a great being if man was created in His image, can he? The God who took my Roger, the God who took my brother, the God who abandoned me.
God, the Creator.
God, the Omnipotent.
God, the Destroyer.
People act very self-centric. We act like the world revolves around us. The idea that God is not bound to our wishes, and transcends our knowledge and intelligence, doesn\'t sit well in this day and age when things happen that we don\'t like. The alternative solution, science, is cold, hard, and one I, personally, shudder at the thought of. Lets say \"Bob\'s\" dad dies. I could tell him that God does have a plan for everything, and its outside of our scope, our boundaries of understanding (If God is all-powerful, do you think He should only do things you approve of, or understand?). Or, I could tell him his dad was a victim of natural selection, that nature decided he was too weak to continue, the ever rolling wheel of eliminating the weak. I could say this for any person who dies. Of course, this is very cold and impersonal. But, natural selection IS cold and impersonal. Would you have liked it very much if your parents told you that when your bunny died? Yes, the issue has little to do with what we like to hear, what sounds easier to deal with, or are we looking for escape mechanisms instead of dealing with the issues?
I don\'t always understand why God does things. I also know that that is is the very nature of the relationship between God and man. I trust God, and have a personal relationship with Him. I know that He will do everything for my eventual good. Because I can\'t know the mind or plan of God in intrinsic detail, when something bad happens to me, I trust that God will use it for my good, even though I may not see this for years, and possibly never. If my house is burning, and my 1 month old is trapped, and I am rough in removing him from the house, even though my baby experiences pain, it is for his good. He doesn\'t understand, perhaps for years, why I hurt him. He isn\'t capable of understanding the big picture, and thus will react accordingly. This analogy has flaws, sure, but is a small example of the relationshipbetween God and His children.
I hope and pray that you will experience peace, and look again at your child-hood, and what you have been taught.
Brian