Interview with Father Time

Querrian: Hello everybody.  We are here today with the one and only timekeeper, Father Time.
Thanks for taking the time to be here today.
Father Time: Well, I have a few minutes to spare.
Querrian: Now the one question everyone has on their minds is: How old are you?
Father Time: As old as time.
Querrian: And how old is that?
Father Time: As old as time.
Querrian: So then when were you born?
Father Time: When time began.
Querrian: And how long ago was that?
Father Time: Let's just say I'm very old.
Querrian: Ok then, that's fair.  So you've been keeping track of time since you were born.
Father Time: That's correct.
Querrian: Now we sometimes have a tendency to lose track of time.  Does that ever happen to you?
Father Time: Well, no.  I wouldn't be doing too good of a job if I did.
Querrian: Yes, that's true.
Father Time: You see, my job is to keep track of time.
Querrian: Yes.
Father Time: Keep it moving along.
Querrian: So you just keep on ticking.  Ha.  Keep on ticking, get it?
Father Time: No.
Querrian: Oh. Well then let's move on.
Father Time: I'm still alive and kicking, if that's what you mean.
Querrian: Well yes.  There you have it.
Father Time: As long as I don't kick the bucket.  Ha.  Kick the bucket, get it?
Querrian: Yes.  Very funny.  So I guess if you were to kick the bucket, we'd all kick the bucket, right?  I mean, that would be the end of time.
Father Time: Well, I suppose.
Querrian: Have you ever thought about retiring?  I mean, after all these eons, don't you think it's about time?

Father Time: With me, it's always about time.  You see, I keep track of time.
Querrian: Yes, but isn't there a successor or anything?
Father Time: Well, I have a son.
Querrian: Oh, well what about him?
Father Time: You don't want him keeping track of time.
Querrian: Oh?  Why not?
Father Time: He's not very reliable.  He's always running late.
Querrian: Wow.  How about that.
Father Time: Well, you know how kids are.
Querrian: Sure.  Now, do you have the ability to travel through time?  Sort of a time traveller?
Father Time: Sure, just like you.
Querrian: What do you mean just like me?  I can't travel through time.
Father Time: Sure you can.  You are doing it right now.
Querrian: I am?
Father Time: You are travelling through time at the speed of time.  Otherwise, you would be stuck at the same time forever.
Querrian: Well, I guess that's true.  Look at me.  A time traveller.  Now how come I always feel like I don't have enough time?  Can you give me more time?
Father Time: I give everyone an equal share.
Querrian: Fair enough.  Now you keep time for all of Mother Earth, correct?
Father Time: Yes.  That is correct.
Querrian: So are you guys married?
Father Time: No.  Just living together.
Querrian: Oh.  For how long?
Father Time: About four and a half billion years.
Querrian: Wow.  That long?  Shouldn't it be considered a common law marriage by now?
Father Time: Well, it's strictly plutonic, you know.  We've known each other since she was born.
Querrian: Is that right?
Father Time: She makes fun of me because I am older.
Querrian: How much older?

Father Time: Since time began up to the point Mother Earth was formed.
Querrian: Ok.  That clears it up.  Now do you control this whole space-time continuum?
Father Time: Only time.  I don't know anything about space.
Querrian: So you only control the time, not the space.
Father Time: Yes.
Querrian: Now they say every second counts.  Is that right?
Father Time: No.
Querrian: No?
Father Time: No.  Seconds don't count.  I count the seconds.  There are sixty seconds in a minute.  There are eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds in a day.
Querrian: Oh, I see now.
Father Time: Would you like to know how old you are in seconds?
Querrian: Not really.
Father Time: Ok.  I don't tell.
Querrian: Now there have been many people who want to predict the end of time.  Do you know when that will be?
Father Time: I cannot say.
Querrian: Does that mean you know but cannot say?
Father Time: I don't know the future.  I just keep counting the seconds as they go by.  I keep track and make sure time marches on.
Querrian: Does it always march?
Father Time: Always marching.
Querrian: Not running or jogging?
Father Time: No.  Just marching.
Querrian: Ok.  Well, will you look at the time.  That's all the time we have.  Unless you can give me a bit more.
Father Time: No.
Querrian: Just a bit?  A few seconds maybe?
Father Time: No.
Querrian: Well then, I want to thank you for your time.  Join me next time for another WeeBe Querrian Exclusive Interview.
How about making some time up?
Father Time: No.
Querrian: Just this one time?
Father Time: No.