No Sex Please, I'm an Abstinence Geek

Abstinence is a word that a lot of people do not like, an amazingly some people may not even be able to tell you the meaning of the word because it's not in their vocabulary or sphere of thinking. To most teenagers and young people this word is almost synonymous with “being lame” or simply ”having no game”. When you claim abstinence it's just an excuse because you “can't get any”. It is something that a lot of people run away from cause it's got some sort of stigma and when you say you are for abstinence, it makes you sound like a religious fanatic of the David Koresh, Jim Jones type.

The Encarta dictionary defines Abstinence as self denial: restraint from indulging a desire for something e.g. Alcohol or sexual relations .

In recent years an organization called the Silver Ring Thing™ is helping teens realize that they are not on their own and that they have support. Just like those that want to give up smoking or loose weight have support groups. SRT is an organization that help teen realize that they do not have to go with the flow, of promiscuity and sleeping with that person you "love". And it's trying to be an alternative to Sex Education.

There have been vindictive attacks against the program claiming that it doesn't work and it's unhealthy to promote it. What i want to know is , if you never drink can you get drunk? , if you never do drugs can you become an addict ? If you don't discipline yourself change your diet and exercise can you ever lose weight. Those that say it doesn't work , just don't want to admit that they like sex too much to give it up. The sex education that has been taught for many years, teenagers are still getting pregnant, and contracting STDs . Condoms are scientifically proven to have a failure rate ad are not 100% guaranteed. If you were about to jump out of a plane, and you were told there was a chance it wouldn't open due it's nature from manufacture, would you still jump out, or wait till it's 100% safe?

As a red blooded male , my sexuality is something that I have encountered for many years. Being a tele addict did not really help matters. The numerous teen shows,drama and soaps with the perfect guy and perfect girl , locking lips as a show of their affection to each other clashed with the inner part of me that said that level of intimacy was not right for a dating relationship. I'm not going to sit here like a sanctimonious ass hole, and let on a tirade of self righteous condemnation. I have the desire too , to have a beautiful girl on my arm, riding shot gun in my car and kiss her good night when I drop her off at home.

Some couples do agree to take the vow of abstinence , but compromise. Engaging in long periods of heaving kissing and petting and sometimes even oral sex, giving themselves the excuse that "it's not penetration" and we didn't going “all the way” is just deceiving yourself.

There is a saying that goes “if you're not going to cook , don't go into the kitchen” .You can't expect to play with fire and not get burnt. Kissing and petting are forms of foreplay which is meant to lead to sex, this is something that lot's of people fail, or rather refuse to understand. They think they can control themselves, and put on the brakes just before launching off from third base. But that's like being handed the keys to a Porsche on the Auto Bahn, and telling your self that you are not going to speed, or staying on the start line of a Formula 1 race, you continuously rev your engine and take off, and just before you cross the finish line you jam on the brakes, do that enough times and one day your brakes will fail. Ever heard the expression “one thing led to another and it just happened”. Nothing just happens, every thing in life is a consequence of an action .

It's not easy as a Christian dealing with the fact that you can't engage in the physical pleasure(yeah, that's what it is) that is part of “normal” relationships, if temptation didn't involve pleasure or enjoyment it wouldn't attract you now would it? So if I can't touch and kiss my girlfriend/boyfriend, what else can we do? Just hold hands, that's boring!

Look, I don't all or any of the answers cause I myself am still searching for them. However what I do have is a few suggestions.