Les Dawson
“My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.”
A much loved British comedian, Dawson (1931 - 1993) was expert at female impersonation, terrible piano playing and jokes about the Mother-In-Law. He made his debut in 1976 on a show called “Opportunity Knocks” hosted by Hughie Green (who fathered Paula Yates, sometime wife of Bob Geldof and lover of Michael Hutchens). Opportunity Knocks was a precursor of “Britain's Got Talent” and was a much loved for its excruciating lack of talented performers as for its occasional gem such as Dawson. He would often paint a fabulous and romantic picture with words and then bring his audience hurtling back to earth. For example, “The other day I was gazing up at the night sky, a purple vault fretted with a myriad points of light twinkling in wondrous formation, while shooting stars streaked across the heavens, and I thought: I really must repair the roof on this toilet.” Rest In Peace, Les!
Phyllis Diller
“A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing.”
Diller (b 1917) is today considered one of the female pioneers of standup, she did it when no other woman did and as a result paved the way for the likes of Joan Rivers, Roseanne Barr and Ruby Wax. This for some would be good enough reason to invent time travel and go back and strangle her at birth. She has appeared in everything from The Muppet Show to The Bold And The Beautiful which certainly shows she had a sense of humour herself. Now in her ninety first year she was due to celebrate that birthday by making an appearance on The Tonight Show but had to cancel due to a fractured back. Perhaps something finally happened to her “last night”.
Bernard Manning
“I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.”
A man very much in denial, and I do not mean the river in Africa, Manning (1930 -2007) rose to prominence as a comedian in the UK in the 1970s. This was when it was acceptable for racial stereotyping to be included in routines and Manning never did adapt to the times when they fortunately changed. He was delegated from the television sets of the nation to his self-owned night club where he continued performing - and denying his racism - till he died.
Joan Rivers
“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, "the man
goes on top and the woman underneath". For three years my husband and I
slept on bunk beds.”
Raspy voiced, New York attitude and mostly self-effacing, Rivers (b 1933) has become ultimately famous for being famous. However, her career had many high points including scenes in the famous Burt Lancaster film The Swimmer. Mostly known for her stand up, Rivers is also a screen-writer and film director. Never one to miss out on making a buck she also, being a life long lover and collector of jewellery, often appears on The Shopping Chanel promoting her own line of stuff which no doubt makes Ratners look like Tiffany.
Matt Groening
“When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is
an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the
authorities.”
We are not worthy! Even if Groening (b 1954) never did another thing in his life he would still be worshipped as being the man who brought the world The Simpson's. Not content with that he also created Futurama which was sadly canceled a few years ago but due to make a comeback on DVD only in 2008. About the only bad thing about this gentleman was his decision to name one of his sons Homer. Although a name long established in the Groening family it is little or no surprise that the young man calls himself Will. And calls his father much, much worse would be my guess.
P J O'Rourke
“There are a number of mechanical devices that increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief amongst these is the Mercedes-Benz 380L
convertible.”
O'Rourke (b 1947) he was a left wing hippy in the 1960s and emerged as butterfly like from his kaftan like chrysalis to become one of the forefront American satirists of our age. His views although libertarian lean a little towards the right these days - a strange mix - but right or left leaning is quite fine in a web page devoted to sex. So strange in fact that he himself has proposed the creation of two new American political parties. The first for those people who hold his own mix and match cornucopia of views and the second party for those who hold the opposite. A funny man.
