George Burns
“There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed.”
Burns (1890 - 1990) lived to be a hundred and worked virtually up to his death. It is very difficult being funny for five minutes let alone a century but this gentleman managed it. He was genuinely in love with his wife. In fact his most bitter regret was that affair he has with a Las Vegas Showgirl. Well, I suppose, if you are going to have an affair… He worked and worked - even recording a country and western song. “Why shouldn't I sing country?” he asked, “I'm older than most countries.
Faye Wattleton
“Just saying "no" prevents teenage pregnancy the way "Have a nice day" cures chronic depression.”
Wattleton (b 1943) is a pioneer in many ways. She was the first African-American President of the Planned Parenthood Association and is at the moment the President of the American Center for The Advancement of Women. Although she stands out here as just about the only non-comedian (or at least non celebrity as she is much more a VIP than anything) in the list the above quotation deserves mention for its dryness. There is at the very least the suggestion of a possible alternative career in her words.
Ruby Wax
“My ultimate fantasy is to entice a man to my bedroom, put a gun to his head and say, "Make babies or die".”
Wax (b 1953) is an American comedienne who rode the “new wave” of comedy in the UK in the 1980s and has been a permanent irritating fixture on our screens ever since. With her trademark lipstick and hair she interviewed celebrities and conformed very much to what the British expected of an American woman. That is, loud mouthed, sexually voracious and vulgar. However, those she has interviewed who include Imelda Marcos have often outdone Wax herself when it comes to the aforementioned attributes. Is she, in truth, the illegitimate child of Joan Rivers?
Germaine Greer
“Despite a lifetime of service to the cause of sexual liberation, I
have never caught venereal disease, which makes me feel rather like an
Arctic explorer who has never had frostbite.”
Greer (1939 - present) was born in Australia and many people thoroughly wish she had stayed there. Although regarded as one of the foremost feminists of the late twentieth century her acerbic tongue has offended as many as she has delighted. In her later life she has become something of a TV talking head - and pops up on many shows that her younger self would no doubt have despised.
