What is it with the proliferation of products to treat erectile dysfunction? Is erectile dysfunction something new, or is it only now, after all the millennia, that we now have treatments for it? It is only in recent years that the term has come into regular use. Just 20 years ago the only people that used the term erectile dysfunction were doctors and pornographers (and the pornographers had the better cure for the problem).
As a matter of fact I know a lady who says that erectile dysfunction is an oxymoron. There is no such thing, she says, as a dysfunctional erection.
Hmm, perhaps doctors could come up with a better name for the condition. Floppy Dick Syndrome? Flaccid Penis Perpetual?
Or perhaps they could reconsider the diagnosis; when an 80 year old man, barely able to walk, loaded with Viagra is able to produce a boner that stays up half the night, then you have erectile dysfunction. Here you have a guy who should have laid the old fella to rest years ago. Now he is in bed with a blue-veiner, a partner who is equally past it, and a prayer that it will go down before the blood loss to his heart kills him.
Okay, that is an extreme example. What of the guy who is only slightly past his prime, the guy with more marrow than bone in the boner? I guess this is the market that the drug companies are aiming for; he probably has more money than at any other time in his life, he is still reasonably fit, so at least the drug won't kill him, and he is most likely to be in a long term established relationship. This is important. For these therapies to have any repeat sales potential the patient needs an understanding partner.
“Wait a moment, Dear, and I'll squirt this Instant Erection nasal spray up my nose”.
Now that is a real lust inhibiter. A life partner would understand. A casual partner probably would not. Of course, the guy could try to be discreet about it, slip to the bathroom, have his squirt, and come back to the action. But what if there wasn't any action? What if he'd timed it badly, read the signals wrong? Then he is up all night with a boner that won't go away. (Dysfunction).
Even worse is this scenario; “Wait a moment, Dear, and I'll give myself an injection in the penis”.
What the...! Sorry lads, such a therapy does exist. A commonly used drug for such an injection is Alprostadil. It opens blood vessels and induces an erection. More like rigour mortise of the penis.
Somehow the idea of a needle in the prick (pardon the pun) is another demotivator.
But wait, there's more! If you are really keen there is always a penile implant. These can be pump or hydraulic. I kid you not. Imagine that, raising the bridge on the moat with a crank!
Aging gives us a lot to look forward to, eh guys…
“Don't stroke me there, Dear. Just squeeze my pump! (Crank my handle, open my valve, oil my geyser)”
What a turn on! Flick my switch, baby!
Most difficult of all to understand is why would a man cling so desperately to his failing sexual prowess that he would have a pump installed in order to do so? I read recently that some men on Viagra have been complaining that their libido does not match their rigidity. They don't feel like sex anymore but can't live with the idea of not being able to perform. Their wives are demanding more sex now that the flaccidity problem is solved and this pressure is creating performance anxiety.
Holy s**t! Performance anxiety? Doesn't that cause impotence?
