If you follow the news, dear readers, you have probably heard more than enough stories about kids as young as those in grade seven having sex, or at least, oral sex. Somehow between rainbow parties and jelly bracelets, these kids learned that oral sex, is a misnomer, it isn't really sex at all. So these young children are going to these parties and having oral sex and thinking that nothing has taken place, certainly not something sexual in nature. And they think of it as fun. Innocent fun.
In a nutshell, this is the problem with sexual education in schools. The school boards have listened to the parents of the children that go to these schools and have "dumbed down" sex education in response so that the parents can think when their children graduate high school, that they are the innocent, non sexual beings they were when they entered school in primary. Most know this to be a lie. Most know, if not consciously, that between the ages of 12 and 19, their children have grown up, and that in many cases they have experimented to some degree sexually.
We cannot punish children for making stupid choices if we do not arm them with the information necessary to make informed ones. If we do not educate children about sex, they will not turn to their parents or teachers, aunts, or uncles, or guardians for this information, they will turn to their friends. If their friends have grown up in liberal households, some of the information passed between them will undoubtedly ring true, but most will not, so when your child has unprotected sex for the first time, they will not believe that they are at risk for HIV or another STI or pregnancy because it couldn't happen to them. No one hammered in that it only takes once. One broken condom, one incident of unprotected sex and they are unaware that condoms do not protect against all STI's.
On top of that, research shows that of the teenagers that use condoms, a good percentage use them incorrectly, putting them at the same risk as their friends who don't use condoms. Of course they are completely unaware, after all, they are using protection.
It is ultimately up to you to teach your children to have respect for themselves regarding sex. It is up to you to tell your children to insist that their partners use a condom, and to not accept excuses like "it doesn't feel natural". It is up to you to teach your children that if they are not ready for sex they should not be pressured into it. That in response to "if you loved me, you'd do it" they should say, "but if you loved me you'd wait." Regardless of how uncomfortable these conversations may be, it is up to you to have them with your child. In this day of the internet, chat rooms and sexy TV shows, children are growing up faster then ever before.
Parents are under the misconception that by arming children with the information necessary to make good, informed decisions about sex, sexuality and pregnancy we are giving them a loaded gun and license to be promiscuous. The thing is, even if you don't condone pre-marital sex or so-called alternative lifestyles, you cannot decide these things for your child and in the interest of keeping him or her safe you should still discuss these issues in a "this is what I believe but you need to make your own decisions about these things…" manner. This is the first step to combating the idea that oral sex is not sex in children. These conversations may be uncomfortable, but only last a minute. HIV/AIDS and a baby are for life.
