Neapolitans normally celebrate in that world wide, time-honoured waste of money - the firework display. They tend to be extravagant, excessive and hyperactive in their chosen method of celebrating. Cheap, illegal fireworks flood the market and even the youngest of children have access to them, leading to the injury of handlers and spectators, and (more significantly) to much annoyance and lack of sleep for all those citizens who, like me, fail to attribute any special merit to the movement of the hands of the clock.
In Naples 2008 was heralded with 1 death and 473 injuries resulting from home made bangers, and that was after police had managed to confiscate a massive 146 tonnes of the things beforehand, but how do you stop young men from letting off fireworks?
The answer to the problem comes in the form of Naples housewife, Carolina. Carolina's father was seriously injured handling illicit fireworks as a young man and, as a result, suffered from epilepsy for the rest of his life.
Carolina's method of pyrotechnic reduction is simple and even more time-honoured than the firework displays she intends to wipe out. She has allegedly persuaded hundreds of women in Naples to give their men a choice on New Years Eve: fireworks in the street or fireworks in the bedroom, but definitely not both. And it seems that even the city fathers (who may be too old for either, it must be admitted) appear to be persuaded, urging the authorities to adopt the slogan “Make love, not explosions”, advice that might be taken the wrong way by some lusty young stallions.
So I wonder which was the more lit up this year - the Naples sky or the bedrooms of Naples? Which do Neapolitan men prefer - fireworks with their men friends or fireworks with their women? And why was the part of Belfast I live in devoid of fireworks this year (the gunpowder kind)? And what choice did the redoubtable Carolina's husband make? He wouldn't dare!
Way to go Carolina.
