The way you take in and process information depends a lot on the way you were taught to receive it. Likewise, your sexuality in terms of how you respond in relationships emerges from a surprising source.
There are actually two ways in which you take in and process information: direct or indirect. Another way of putting this is to say that you take in suggestions either literally or inferentially.
What does that mean? Simply put, it means that you either accept what you hear at face value or you question it and look for the inner meaning, like reading between the lines. As an example, when someone says to you that you look good today, you may accept the compliment and say thank you, or you may question the motive of the speaker and wonder what he really meant (Did I look bad yesterday? Does he want something from me? What is he thinking that he's not telling me? Does this mean that he's interested in me?)
How you take in information, either literally or inferentially, is called your suggestibility. Your suggestibility results from your earliest interactions with your primary caregiver, usually your mother. If your mother was direct in her communication with you and you could count on her to be true to her word, then you are most likely to be literal in the manner in which you take in information. We would call this physical suggestibility.
If your mother was evasive or not clear in her manner of communicating with you, such that you could not always trust her word, or such that you would have to guess at her meaning, then you would most likely be inferential in the manner in which you take in information. We would call this emotional suggestibility.
Since learning to communicate with others is critical to your survival, this is a skill that is learned from birth. It is learned from your primary caregiver, since this is the person with whom you have the most contact and communication. It is so important that it is fully imprinted in your mind during the first seven or eight years of life, when your subconscious mind is in the forefront absorbing everything you take in without judging or applying logic to the information.
Conversely, a person with emotional suggestibility will speak very directly or literally, having internally processed the thoughts leading to the spoken words. This person will be brief and even blunt, having already worked through any ambivalence toward what was being said. There is also a reluctance to reveal what is within - a desire to be protective of oneself. A person with physical suggestibility, more open about himself, will speak inferentially or indirectly, processing his thoughts as he speaks and revealing his thought process as though it were vital to the communication.
These differences in communication direction can be considered oppositional. The best way, however, is to realize that they are complementary: The physical speaks inferentially, the emotional accepts inferentially. The emotional speaks literally and the physical accepts literally. When conflict arises, it is because the emotional is reluctant to interrupt the chatty physical and withdraws. The physical senses the withdrawal of the emotional and pushes forward, believing that he is closing the gap.
The nature of your own suggestibility can be identified and used when preparing hypnotic suggestions for you. For example, if you are emotionally suggestible, a direct order such as “ You will close your eyes and relax” would irritate you and cause you to reject or resist any further attempts to help you access the hypnotic state. This type of suggestion would work fine with the physical suggestible person. For an emotionally suggestible person, a better suggestion would be indirect: “ You may notice that as you breathe in slowly, you experience a sensation of warmth along your muscles that allows you to feel relaxed”.
It is the understanding of the differences between emotional and physical suggestibility that allows us to craft hypnotic suggestions that are effective on an individual basis. All people are capable of being hypnotized. We all go in and out of hypnosis all day long. Resistance to hypnosis is the result of lack of rapport or trust for the hypnotherapist, and the use of inappropriate suggestions that are not matched to the person being hypnotized.
Keep in mind that no one is 100% emotional or 100% physical in his or her suggestibility. We are all a combination of both, to varying degrees, and this is a good thing because it allows us to function in a variety of social and communication situations. Keep in mind, also, that communication is only about 7% verbal. Beyond the spoken words, the other 93% of communication is non-verbal. This non-verbal portion includes the body language, tone of voice and attitude of the speaker. It also includes the state of mind of the person to whom the speaker is speaking.
Thus, the comment, “It's a lovely day” could mean just that, assuming the non-verbal portion of the communication matches the words. If the speaker's body language, tone of voice, and attitude do not match the words, then there is a disconnect that triggers an inferential response on the part of the person to whom the comment is directed. Being able to distinguish between a comment that can be taken literally and one that must be interpreted is an advanced communication skill that is very important to survival.
