Wives may be overpowered by their husbands most of the time but isn't it proper for husbands to love their wives and just stick to them rather than looking for some other women who can just "give in" to what they want.
I believe it is unfair for one to think falsely of another person's intent. But in the context of cheating, there is no excuse for anything you have done except for the fact that you may have appropriate reasons for doing so. Huh! Isn't that so ironic, so to speak?
In a disturbed husband's thoughts, one may think of ways on how to solve an unbearable event. When wives do nag their husbands, there is a tendency for the latter to find ways of at least controlling their temper. Maybe one of their solutions is looking for another person whom they feel will understand their needs, and provide for their wants.
In the course of this issue however, there are things that we really have to consider. I, being a wife, believe that if there is still hope of saving the marriage, I will do my part so long as we try to pick up the pieces from where they fell.
When I discovered my husband cheating on me, my heart broke into pieces. With too much pain to handle, I barely cried upon knowing of his infidelity. The time I discovered he was having an affair with another girl, I thought about different things. I wanted to leave him right then and there. I planned to take the kids along with me and never give him the right to being with them at all. I barely slept. I may have slept at around three am due to fatigue then woke up again at around five am still having the matter in my head.
The following day, after lunchtime, I was able to confess things to my younger sister. She was mad with what her brother-in-law did to me. I saw in her face and actuations how disappointed she was with what I told her. Having seen so, I told her not to tell the rest of the members of the family about it. It is because, after all, I thought that it was best to save the marriage and give my husband another chance to prove his worth as the head of the family.
That same night however, while I was watching television and had placed my youngest daughter to sleep, my mom entered our room. Out of the blue, I just heard her questioning me about what was happening between my husband and me? Right then, I knew, my sister told her everything. She asked questions such as "why do I allow things to happen that way?". "Why do I allow my husband to hurt me? Is it because of too much love that I allow him to degrade me?" I told her I don't know the answer to her questions. After that answer, she left.
After around a few minutes, I sent her a message through her cellphone and told her that I wanted to talk. In tears, I was able to convey to her my thoughts and feelings on the issue. I said, "Let's give him a chance. We must know that marriage is precious. We just cannot quit because of a problem. Afterall, my husband and I haven't talked about it yet. Give us space to patch our differences. Let's do it for the sake of the kids. I believe that when dad cheated on you, you gave him a chance because you love us, your children." Having heard so, she told me "It's up to you then!" But do you think the story ended there? Nope. My husband works around 100 km. away from home. His only chance to be with us is during weekends. When he came home on June 14, 2008, I again discovered that there was another girl he used to go out with in December 2007 to February 2008. I caught him through a certain email address. I found out he slept with another girl.
I confronted him. He barely answered my questions. By what I found out, I was already mad. Anger filled my heart. I was not talking too much.
On the afternoon of that same day, we went off to the wedding of my aunt were both of us were veil sponsors. We went there without talking too much. Just as my uncle, a priest, and at the same time brother of the bride, was giving his homily, I listened intently to the words he was saying. "Marriage should not be done out of obligation for another. This I say not only to the newlywed but to all couples witnessing this celebration right now. The formula to a happily married life is 1+1=1. When you are bonded by marriage, you are supposed to understand that you become one. You must grow together, not apart. Let love, faith, respect, trust and honesty be your reason for getting married. It is not an obligation."
Having heard this, I thought I was ready to speak to my husband. I should not let the day end without solving the problem.
Just as we arrived home that evening, my husband was still silent. When we were in bed, I barely heard him speak a word. I then broke the ice. I removed my wedding ring and handed it over to him and said "I cannot bear too much of the pain. You promised my mom we will talk about things but you're not saying any to save the relationship. I want to leave. I'll take the kids with me". Having said so, I noticed tears were rolling over his cheeks then he spoke, "Please don't. Give me another chance." His words melted my heart, however, I still have to squeeze facts from him. I told him that I wanted to know everything that happened. I said it will help me ease the pain that I felt. We were able to talk then and patch things.Right now, the pain, I may say is a bit fresh but I am trying to cope up with it. The hurt is still in my heart, but I know time will heal it. I just pray that he will not hurt me again. If he does, I am not sure if I could still give him a chance.
