Our nature cannot be defeated or changed, this is the only fact we need to know for this whole process to work. Even after coping with all your tendencies, they're still there, enduring the ravages of time, and waiting for their chance. As an old preacher friend of mine used to say, "I still know every word that I learned when I was a kid, and some of them aren't exactly friendly. And even I get the urge to use them sometimes." The problem is, most of us don't have that filter that man had. We don't know, or don't care how to stop our tendencies from emerging in society. If we learn just a couple of steps we can do better, feel better, and be better.
- Don't do things without thinking. (Although this one should be a no brainer, we do all sorts of things without thinking on a regular basis. When we get up, we get coffee, when we go to sleep we let our mind wander, when we go to the store.... The point is if you think before you act you stop a lot of selfish things from happening and causing harm to others)
- Walk "the Mile" (Which is of course referring to the infamous mile in the other's shoes that we always heard of as a child and never quite cared enough to do. Well think of it this way, if you walk the mile before you act against someone, they will notice, and probably do the same to you when they're getting ready to strike)
- Don't spit in the wind (Metaphorically and physically. Don't do something that will have adverse consequences for you or the person behind you. Realize that everything you do has a consequence and process the first two steps. When you come to a crossroads just think, "What will happen to this person AND me?" This even enables your selfish side to see reason towards showing compassion)
As stated before, you cannot defeat or change your nature. It's given to you at birth, developed throughout your life, and taken at death. It is a simple and unchanging factor throughout all your decisions. However, you can alter how much you pay attention to it. The greatest minds in history all "thought outside the box". Well human nature is to think within the box because outside is where nobody else is. They didn't always listen to that nature and because of this simple fact they are acclaimed as brilliant minds. Well if you are able to curb your desire to listen to your selfish nature, then that makes you a saint. Now don't let the motivational tidbit distract you, we are flawed, every one of us, and even though none of us are identical, we all share the same dark desires. Yet, one thing we all find different within is our proficiency with dealing with them. The time of your life is waiting, can you get a hold of yourself before it comes? I hope you can, and wish you the best of luck in doing so.