How the Internet Makes Some People Behave Like Jerks

The on-line world can be particularly cruel and harsh. Typically people are far more sympathetic to people they see and meet in real like than they are to on-line acquaintances. For some reason people feel a need to belittle, or attack others on the Internet as though every interaction is a game where points are given to the sole survivor. People who are genuinely nice in "real life" are ruthless, on-line killers, posting nasty script in blogs or forums.

I think I know why it is. It is not one thing, it is the combination of several things and a lack of understanding that the person on the other end is real, and has feelings, just as much as we do.

1. Text is Harsh

   For the most part anything we say on-line is going to be harsher than said in a conversation where a tone can soften a negative comment. Font is crisp, black on white, cut and dry. CAPS ARE YELLING, so are even harsher. Basically anything said in type is more formal, more stern, and therefore taken harder, to some this may seem like a threat that they have to fight against.

2. Gamer Mentality

   I gotta win. Every conversation is a challenge, every chat room is a show of wit, or who can get the most said, or who can dominate, who can be the last one standing. This mentality has created a whole personality type, that of the chat room Flamer. Every thing on-line is a contest. They read things and just hope there is a place at the bottom so they can make a comment, so eager to ensure they get the last word in everything.
   

3. Words cannot hurt me

   They fight with venom in text. Knowing that nothing the other person can say will ever harm them physically. Strangers in an on-line assault, their only weapons are words, insults, and rude comments. They call each other names without any concern.
   

4. No Eyes

   It is easier to insult somebody when you are not face to face, live, with that person. We tend to feel a bit more sympathy to people we can see, hear, or touch. It is easier to break up with a partner over the phone, even easier over the Internet. If you do not have to look into somebodies eyes, to see the pain of the words you inflict, it is so much easier.
   

5. No Consequence

   In real life, if you insult somebody the way some on-line insults go, your group of friends would shrink, as few people, other than similar bullies, would hang out with you, people would shun you, or call you to task for your negativity.
   

6. Easy

   Many sites offer people to either give a positive or negative response, a "thumbs up" or a "thumbs down". Since you are neither reward or punished for being nice or mean, it is easy to be negative to another person.
   

7. Don't Look Back

   Often times a person posts an insult and never checks back to see if the person they insulted responded, or they insult somebody, then "block" them from replying.
   

8. Anonymity

   This is a big one. When you are on-line you can be anyone. You can be Suzy123 in a chat room, and Big Matt in a forum, qwerty when posting a comment, and Ilovekittens when posting a blog. You can swear, belittle, insult, or whatever, and it never ever touches who you really are. Or does it?

When you insult others on-line you create a negative world, a world were everyone feels they have to be defensive. It might only be an on-line world, but people live beyond that world and are affected by what is said to them, even if it is only in hard, sterile, text. Nothing has been improved by being negative only for the sake of being negative.

True, nobody is going to like everything, and not everything is going to be liked, but why hurt somebody by being negative? It is better to show compassion to another persons efforts and criticize them honestly. When a person asks "Do you like this picture of me?" rather than typing in "Man you are some kinda ugly, did you come out of a toilet for that photo?" it is just as easy to write "Sorry you are not my type, the photo is too dark also.".

We have the power to make the real world better, we have the power to make the on-line world better. Not everything is a game or a challenge. Not everything is a foe to be fought.