I was at dinner (or breakfast, depending on how you look at it) with a close personal friend, and during the course of conversation, the concept of why nice guys finish seemingly dead last came up. We went through all the scenarios and pondered all the angles. We came up with the same answer that we've come to countless times before. However, just as I was about to start flirting with the waitress (who by the way did cut me some slack on the tab), he said something that set off a flurry of original thought.
He said "Jonathan, cats like us are on top of the food chain, or at least we are making strides to get there. We shouldn't feel like we are last." That made me think. What if we were both looking at this all wrong? I realized in fact that we had been looking at this whole thing completely incorrectly. So gentlemen (and ladies) I invite you to take a look at the line of reasoning that I came up with and see if you don't agree to some extent...
The dating/relating/mating world is governed by a set of laws, not unlike those present in economic theory. Supply and demand, scarcity of resources, division of labor, etc. all have a place in it. More accurately, they all have a role in the way things work out. Lets presume for a moment that there are no external factors, like fate or past love or anything like that, just simple market functions. Now depending on who you are, this will take on different meaning, so I write from the most easily defended position-I write as who I am, a male, seeking a female. Now that the set up is done, lets continue.
There are more females than males. Without going into statistic bifurcations, there are more African-American Females than there are African-American Males, assuming the former statement to be accurate. The strength of those two statements forms the crux of my argument. Any male going after a female has a not only a better chance of partial success (ie, just getting any girl) but a better chance of total success (ie getting the girl of his dreams) when compared to a female's chances at the inverted goals.
Clearly we excuse semantics at this point, as they cloud the objectivity of the statements. This point is further punctuated when one considers the various degrees of stratification present in any community, not just the Afro-American. Certain segments of the population are "undesirable" for whatever reason, be it legal woes, personality flaws, or any other defect. This layer is subjective though, the old adage of "one's man's trash...another's treasure.." aptly governs this region. The gauntlet runs from the undesirable up through the "most desirable". It is here that our focus needs to shift.
Simple economics stipulate the implied value of a resident in the uppermost region. It should be noted that the term "uppermost" is relative, as no one person is superior to any other. Again excusing the semantic digression, we continue. The assent to the upper limits is seemingly difficult and therefore, many people simply will not attain it. Be it due to laziness or whatever the case may be, everyone will not reach it. Using a population size of 100 males, one finds that the upper limits is comprised of 10 males.
If we assume that every woman is searching for someone in that upper limit, then a reconsideration of the previous fact that there are more women than men, one realizes the scarcity of goods. For the sake of the example, assume that women have a similar percentage breakdown, but there are twice times as many women. So now you have 200 women each trying to get one of 10 men. This inherently drives the value of the commodity up. Not everyone is going to get one, thus, only the most suitable individuals will receive one. Since the medium of trade is the man's own discretion/preference, the price named is his own.
So now this male in the upper limit could, in essence, have his pick from 191 potential mates (This total assumes that the other males have already made a selection). Compare this against the fact that the female, has a 1 in 10 chance of getting someone in that upper limit. Not terrible until one also factors that she's up against 199 other women. So now assuming there is no real separation, she has a .005% chance of beating out all the other women for her choice out of the upper limit males, where as the male is sitting comfortably with odds of 20 to 1 that he will have his choice of woman, assuming that the upper boundary male can just as easily select from any portion of the afore mentioned 200 females. (My math is a bit shaky, but its the concept that needs to be communicated, the math isn't as important. I can show you the math I used later) So then if this is the case, why are my friend and I so impatient?
