Identity is a crucial part of living and it is imperative that every person knows himself. It is the reason why cultures go through a rite of passage and it is also why organizations require that one goes through a rite of initiation in order to enter a different realm of being. However natural an identity may be we are compelled to understand how and why some of them come about. I think it is important to understand the nature of the radical and eccentric things that boggle our minds. I am led to ask questions about those identities that puzzle me.
Is homosexuality from nature or nurture? How does that which one wants to be conflict with what he/she already is? How does narcissism relate to homosexuality if it does at all? How is one sex driven to be seduced by its kind? How does the submissive gay man define his sense of manliness, if that’s even something he’s mindful of? And just how, in the same sense, does a lesbian define her womanliness? Why does sometimes the dominated sex play the role of the female and the dominant the role of the male when in fact each sex dislikes the idea of copulation with the other? Is it a desire for power? Is it a poor esteem of self that brings a sex to be dominated by its kind? Why are some of them so flamboyant? Is it maybe to make up for a poor self-esteem? What is a gay’s viewpoint of decency and how does one come to refer to another as a fagot (the unruly type)? These are the questions I have about the state of homosexuality. But all I can say for now is that it is what it is and I would not understand it unless I walk a mile in the shoe of a homosexual. Everyone has to resort to something on which he/she can conveniently base an identity.
Pride of belonging is never so enhanced than during times of adversity. If it doesn’t kill you it definitely makes you stronger. It seems to me something useless to be proud of when it comes to sexual identity. When faced with challenges one can either give up or retaliate, and it is the fighting that brings such solidarity in minority groups as they in turn feel a need to celebrate victories of increased tolerance in society. But the Gay Pride parade? Really? Come on! To my surprise, it even annoys some gays and they call it the Fagot pride parade. I had one tell me how he thinks it’s trashy as he gave me the analogy of intentionally going to a Black parade and suddenly finding yourself in a Nigger parade. I never thought of heterosexuality as something to necessarily be proud of: I just know I’m a hetero male and it feels good.
Although it’s not always easy, it remains possible to alter physical properties. Certain things in sight are not always what we think them to be, and it’s a good thing that we, as peoples of the world, have come to look beyond the thing exposed accepting that the Earth is not flat and that there isn’t necessarily such a thing as a sky. But this proverb is very meaningful—that a pig will always be a pig no matter how much lipstick is put on it. This is why I think that trans-genders who assume the role other than their natural physical state will never equally be as the thing they are trying to impersonate because of biological differences. Then again, it’s not the body alone that determines a form of identity as it and the mind are co-dependent on one another. But if the experienced claim to naturally feel the way they do with the absence of some type of abuse, can it be that this case of misplaced sexual and/or gender identity is as random and genetic as left-handedness?
Racial identity also seems to me like something irrelevant for the sake of pride. “Black and proud” was a movement that was started up as a form of retaliation against oppositions that questioned the value of black folks. What sense does it make to take pride in something that came as default through nature? I view pride as a result of one’s accomplishments. I don’t hate being black, but it is frustrating to see that black achievers are not as exalted as their white counterparts. So, pride in this sense comes with the benefits of belonging to a group. This is reminiscent of the joke Chris Rock made about how a white cripple wouldn’t trade places with him even though he’s rich. I’ve heard some people ask stuff like why there is no White history month when in fact we live in a Euro-centric world.
