Why it isn't easy to make new friends, even if you are a friendly person.
Once out of college and living in the real world, making new friends is not as easy and natural as it once had been. Organized social events are not regularly attended anymore. Hanging out in the dorm lounge was such an easy place to have conversation and meet new people. The cafeteria provided constant flow of new people to sit with for a meal, flirt with, talk to, etc... You get the idea. Now that we are working, what does our social life look like? For many of us, we have an occasional dinner out with some friends but more regularly, we basically go to work and then go to the gym or just home. A lot of our socializing is happy hour with coworkers. Is this a satisfying social life? Maybe for some, but for a lot of young professionals, it isn't.
What To Do
I recommend that you set aside one or two days a month devoted to going out without any of your regular buddies. Do not invite anyone that you already know. Sign up for a social interest group (you can find many on Meetup.com). Because these groups are created for those interested in a particular topic or goal, when you arrive at one of their social gatherings, you will know that all those attending are interested in the same topic you are. Also, most will have arrived without anyone else accompanying them and this forces mingling. You will go home having met a selection of potential future friends and having had a nice time pursuing something you have an interest in.
Looking for the perfect social gathering to make new friends?
I organize a couple of social groups, one of which is called The NYC Be Social Group with over 300 members. We have one to 3 events every month and you can find out the what the events are and sign up for them by going to the Upcoming Events tab at Jill in the City! Some parties are small for about 10 people and some are large expecting 40 to 70 people, all from Manhattan who are looking to make new friends. The events I organize usually attract a very good class of people, no particular age group, just a great selection of awesome folk. Most events are free to attend and some have an event fee. Go to Jill in The City to learn more.
What To Consider.
In my experience, going to events alone can be wonderful fun. It is important, however, that you attend open minded to meet all types of people. Opening yourself up to being able to receive friendly faces into your life may sound like a silly suggestion, but you would be surprised, sometimes a conscience effort has to take place. People will naturally gravitate towards you if you do.
