Hi. My name is Karla and I am a smoker.
If I was to go for a job interview at a random company, I can and should expect to have my basic human rights protected from prejudice.
The potential employer who conducts the interview with me can not and should not allow my sex, religion, culture, sexual preference, disability (or lack of), and/or body shape to be a factor when considering my application (within reason).
Although it is a sad reality that in life, personal biases will often cloud people’s judgement, altering any decision they do eventually make, but it wouldn’t be something they could in turn express to you.
Could you imagine that conversation?
“I’m sorry, but being a woman of your age, and with that skin colouring? You’re just not what I’m looking for.”
The cash registers would be ringing in your head as you make your way straight to the lawyer’s office with several integral reasons for pursuing a hefty lawsuit.
But, and here is the kicker, if that same person saw your cigarette packet or smelt the tobacco from you, they now have a good excuse not to hire you.
“I’m sorry, but due to your smoking habit we won’t be considering your application any further. Have a nice, short life.”
This type of statement is considered to be acceptable and is not a breach of any of your basic human rights. Why, you ask?
Maybe smokers aren’t considered human.
Smokers have been getting a raw deal now for years. We all get painted with the same tar-saturated brush and are then expected to sit back and remember why this is. After all, we’re apparently bad, evil people and therefore we must continue to suffer and pay dearly for our habit.
Advertising bans are increasingly being imposed on tobacco companies in a pathetic bid to try and reduce the likelihood of people choosing to smoke. All the while, alcohol advertising becomes increasingly sexy and seems to be perfectly acceptable.
I admit, it’s not the wisest thing to roll a smoke while in control of a vehicle, and sometimes road conditions aren’t ideal for people to be smoking whilst driving.
But I also know that the chances of a smoker downing a 20 pack of cigarettes and then getting behind the wheel, only to cross over the centre line, killing a young innocent family are pretty slim. Give that same smoker a 20 pack of beer and the odds start looking a lot grimmer for everyone.
“You shouldn’t smoke.”
So many non-smokers are quick to criticize and waive their stain-free finger at you, ready to pounce fortuitously with their quick judgement of why you are doomed and why it’s a necessity for you to quit now before it’s too late.
Well, okay then, I’ll give you the chance to lecture me, as long as you have an intelligent argument for your statement. So tell me, why shouldn’t I smoke?
“You’ll die younger.”
Generally this isn’t precisely what they’d say, but after all the warnings of the terrible diseases you could get and the lower quality of life, it all amounts to that one small statement.
So, basically what they are telling me is that because I smoke, I’ll die younger.
Smokers are environmentally friendly!
That means I won’t be overstaying my welcome on this ever overly-populated planet, ensuring that there’s more resources available for future generations. In fact, if I gave up and became a non-smoker, I’d live longer, using resources and money that could’ve otherwise been spent on the children.
And people call smokers selfish?!
So far we’ve established that smokers are not treated as humans, often persecuted for their belief in their habit, and we’re also environmentally friendly.
So now I guess I should establish my main point for writing this piece.
Smoking is a religion.
Surely our rights are protected by the same Human Rights laws that protect Catholics, Jews, Hare Krishna, Hindu, Muslim, and any other religious groups.
Am I going completely mad? I’m sure some of you out there think I must be, but before you decide about my sanity perhaps we should examine the supporting arguments for this theory.
How can it be a religion?
We’ve already established that smokers, as a group of varied people, are persecuted. Many such religious groups have been persecuted for their ‘belief in powers considered to be divine’. Remember the holocaust or even the Salem witch trials.
Smoking has a power, an ability to make us feel better, happier, or even just more relaxed in life. For a smoker nothing is more divine, or splendid, then the release we feel after our first morning smoke, or any number of cigarettes we enjoy throughout the day.
