I was always such a clingy girl and always will be, to a certain extent, to those who have proven their friendship is not prevailing. I don’t appreciate when people are fake to gain friendship, not only is it unappealing, but when those people are fake to me, I have a tenancy for either ignoring them, or bitching to them. This quality in myself I partly blame on my one of my best friends, who has had that quality since forever. I take it as a huge compliment when people say I’m her Mini Me because she is one that I admire. She’s been through more than I could handle and hearing any tragedies or traumas she’s dealt with is insane. She taught me her ‘stand-up-for-yourself’ ways.
I can’t say I remember when I started realizing who I am. Can anyone? (Then again some can) To be quit frank, I don’t know that I’ll ever really know who I am for a long time. I know things about myself, what I look like and personality traits, but those seem to change a bit every year. From experience, as well as watching my friends go through such traumatic and life changing moments is what changes a person. “One person’s craziness is another persons reality”- Tim Burton. I get my “knowledge” from my friends and family and living my pragmatics which have also changed me. A lot of people can change you, when you let them.
I was once blonde, (still blonde at heart), and now that I’ve changed my hair at least four or five times, I’m now a brunette with probably three colors. I got the red, the black, the brown, I went all dark. I laugh as I write this because so many people think it to be a phase. I love the dark, I’m a night time lass and it’s always been good fun. Not to say that I’m completely transformed, I’ve just learned the compact that boundaries and self control has on ones life. You can’t learn from only watching, you have to have the experience so you know which way is right or left for yourself.
Of coarse there are parental expectations and “rules” that some kids follow and some kids don’t. Ah! And the inconvenience of worthless peer pressure, which in my opinion is rather comically useless and way too over rated. Yes, words can bite, but how many times do you want to hear it before you’ve had enough? I hate when a parent or teacher says, “If someone told you to jump off a bridge would you do that too?!” angry or bitter depending on why the conversation is taking place. I turned it on my parents and said, “Hell yeah, I’d wanna go sky diving too but I don’t think I’m old enough yet,” with a frown on my face. I really do though man! How awesome would that be, well at least I think it’d be awesome. I’ve got a few things I’d love to do, but they’re going to have to wait till I graduate. I’m not sure about you, but school is enough to think about for right now. There’re those few weekends when you get no homework, I basically throw myself to writing if I don’t get a better offer. The odd part about me, is a “better offer” for me isn’t ‘oh lets go to the mall’ or ‘let’s go see that one movie’ although I do love movies, I only do that when hanging with really good friends or else it’s kind of weird. I’m also a video game freak! I love guitar hero, rock band, and these old skateboard games I used to play with my brother before he was too popular to stay home for a night. Don’t get me wrong, I love my brother to no end, he’s someone I’d call one of my best friends; someone I trust with about anything. Do you know how rare that is anymore; to find a friend that’s really trustworthy?
Those people you trust are the one’s who DO NOT hand out the, “Wow she’s such a skank,” or, “Ha, fag,” even after you or they messed up and there was a fight or big lash out. With guys, there’s a punch and it’s over, with girls, it’s a WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY. Good god, when you hear that crap, what do you say? Is what they’re saying about you true, or is this their pathetic way of saying, “I hate myself so I’m going to be a bitch myself hoping it’ll throw you in a bathroom stall in tears”?
