Many of us women have focused on challenging the idea of “femininity”. Over the last number of years, women have become more involved in sports, they are no longer expected to always wear skirts or dresses, women have taken more powerful positions within society and taking more control over their lives without the reliance on a man. However, what have we, or society done for men? I do not think we have done much, or at least enough to allow men to challenge the idea of “masculinity”. We have left men in the shadows. Many men have already come to question their exact role in society as men. Men use to be seen as the “protectors”, the “breadwinners”, the “leaders”, etc… Now that women are more independent, making money of their own, and so forth, it has left men wondering what exactly their purpose is, and what is it to be a man. “Patriarchal masculinity teaches men that their sense of self and identity, that their reason for being, resides in their capacity to dominate others” (hooks, pg. 70). However, many men are afraid that by challenging or not conforming to the stereotypical image of a man or being “masculine”, that they somehow become more feminine. It is as though there can only be one definition of what is it to be a man, and that this definition cannot expand or be flexible. I agree with hooks that we need to help men find an alternative definition of masculinity. What we need is a vision of masculinity where self-esteem and self-love for one's uniqueness is the basis of identity. (hooks, pg. 70).
I think these readings are very insightful in a women's studies course. Often our focus is on women, and how sexism affects us. In the meanwhile, many women forget just how much men can also suffer from patriarchy and sexism, and the social construction of masculinity in addition to femininity. Feeling as though we need to conform to being masculine or feminine only separates men and women, and serves no real purpose in society. Masculinity and femininity do not have to be two separate entities or at opposite ends of the spectrum.
I think we need to reconstruct what it is to be “feminine” or “masculine”. We must realize that both men and women possess traits that would consist of both, and that this is healthy, and in fact better for both men and women. Our world would be a much better place if we could be free to act the way we want, and express the way we feel without being burdened by what we should or should not do according to our sex. Through this, not only will it make for a better society, one that moves away from the teachings of patriarchy, but it will benefit relationships between a man and a woman, and benefit ourselves by allowing us to be free and be the complete human beings that we are.
