Ralph Waldo Emerson insisted that “Men are respectable only as they respect,” and I must say that I wish more understood this concept. Everyone wants respect, but the simple fact of the matter is that not everyone deserves it. I am not writing an acerbic tirade against authority, nor am I directing one towards my peers. There is no set audience for this piece because this is applied towards all who make human contact in any way, shape or form.
How often does day pass during which I, or you, have not heard the angered, frustrated, insulted complaints that result from an incident which involved, primarily, one, or two people being disrespectful to one another? For me, it occurs almost daily.
One the college/university scene, anyone, at any given time can hear complaints from students about professors, friends, and family. You can hear professors enraged by students, family, staff or administration. And who can forget the miserable cash register worker whose sole purpose in life seems to be complaining about customers, the “higher-ups” and their low pay?
Don't worry. I'm not suggesting that respect will increase your weekly paycheck. I am simply trying to make a point. Just recognize that we hear about disrespect at least one, if not often multiple times in a 24-hour slot.
Many of the key issues regarding respectful behavior is that society seems to deem certain individuals as deserving for reasons that have nothing to do with that individual's personal character. For example-for students and children-authority figures, elders, and adults in general fit this description.
As the Emerson reference earlier implies, one should only be respected if they respect others-the golden rule never goes away. Never assume that those “beneath you” have to respect you, or that you deserve their respect. Simply because I am twenty years older than my cousin does not mean that, in a few years, dear Rachel must respect me.
However, the problem does not lie solely in the most highly respected in our community. Certainly it does not. Many of the younger generation seem that they have the knowledge, wisdom and life experience necessary to judge who they should and should not respect. While not all of those selected as being worthy of respect necessarily deserve it, the standards exist for a reason; the same way in which behind all painful rumors, there lies a grain of truth.
There is truth to life experience, and there can be benefits to flashing your boss your best smile, and speaking to him/her in your best nice-kid, phone voice. The problem with the younger generations is that there is a rebellious tendency to assume that, because they have had one bad experience with authority, none of those entitled to respect by our social standards deserve it.
Respect is a quadruple-ly-edged sword. One can neither yield it too liberally, nor too rarely, neither too self-assuredly nor too meekly. It seems as though the battle of respect should be an easy one. A simple task of everyone continually putting themselves in another person's shoes, or trying on another person's pair of glasses, if the shoes analogy is just too cliché.
Trying on someone else's prescription glasses can be nauseating, painful, difficult, so I suppose we steer from it. Someone else's shoes may be too tight, too big or they may just fall right off. But at least if you try them on, you will have tried. You will have shown the world that you at least recognize that other pairs exist. Now isn't that worth the pain? The discomfort? I guess not. Not yet.
