This is a question I ask myself frequently. I am no example of perfection. I have good and bad days like anyone else. On my bad days I have moods and can be mean or short with the people I work with, or even my wife. Even on these days, even at my worst, I still think about what I say and how it will affect someone.
There are many people out there who do not seem to show any interest in the well being of those around them. I am not saying they are bad parents or friends, or employees. I don't know these people well enough to surmise these things. What I am talking about is the numerous brief interactions we have with people we may never see again.
People we will never be friends with. The nameless retail assistants, gas station attendants and faceless drivers we encounter every day. Why do we feel it is okay to treat others with anything less than the respect we expect ourselves?
I work in a restaurant. My wife works in a pharmacy. She has it worse than me. We both encounter people every day, the rude, the ignorant, and the truly offensive. What is it that goes through a persons mind as they scream and yell, throwing a tantrum that would shame a five year old, just because they had to wait twenty minutes for a prescription, or in line at the drive-thru?
Is the raging impatience in their minds so vicious that such a minor inconvenience as a changing stop light can cause them to risk their car, their lives and the lives of other drivers, (and passengers, who may be children, like those many of you have yourselves) just to save a second or two. I have no answer to this. I do not know what goes through peoples minds as they rush around oblivious to the needs and feelings of others. I probably don't want to know. It might crush the last remaining spark of hope I hold for humanity.
We can however, discuss some possibilities. It could be that hatred, competition, and intolerance, or just natural human traits. In this case, no matter what we do there is no escaping our nature. It would be justified in the great scheme of things to insult and verbally abuse, to threaten to kill someone because they did not have your prescription ready on time.
It would be perfectly normal to attempt to run someone off the road because they honked their horn to let you know you were getting over into their lane without the proper caution, or rev your engine and almost run over a pedestrian in a parking lot because you felt they were walking to slowly. These things would be the way of the world, and driven by human nature, they would be unchangeable. This is not a comforting thought.
The other possibility is that these things are within us, yet shaped by our society. These urges and actions would be created by the society we live in. People would be driven to hatred and impatience by the fast pace lives we lead, the hectic schedules, rigid time-keeping in the work place, and the horrifying specter of failure always lurking behind us from childhood to adulthood.
These things are all possible. We work too hard. We play too little. We teach our children that to fail is a terrible thing, and that to succeed we must beat those around us. We teach our children what our parents taught us, and the cycle goes on, with each generation succeeding beyond the last, until we find ourselves here, in a world where we can live our lives without ever having to get out of the car. I could go on, but you would tire of my lectures if you have not already, or descend into apathy to escape the dismal reality I paint.
The problem with the, “Its Societies fault” mode of thought, is that not every one is the same. There are still some few who remind us what it is to be truly human and who redeem us in our own eyes. If it was truly the fault of society, then every one of us would be the demon.
So what then? Where is the answer? The truth I supposed is within us all. The possibility of the hating, screaming, impatient human, who lives life to the detriment of all around, who most often forgets why he is even living his own life, is within us all. It is fueled by society. It feeds on the rules we impose upon ourselves, and the daily strain of existing in such close proximity to so many humans. We have allowed ourselves to become this monster. We have allowed this beast to consume our lives.
Now those few who dare to hope for a better life, free from the hatred that surrounds us every day, they hide and whisper words of comfort. They shine their lights in the darkness, helping where they can. They volunteer for needy children, or to feed the homeless, to travel to countries where food and water are not so easily accessible. Or they just give us a smile, as a stranger passing by, reminding us that not everyone in this world is against us. Remember this, you can allow yourself to be shaped by society into the greedy self-absorbed leech that crushes our very will to live.
Or, you can remind yourself every day when you wake up, when you see someone having a bad day and you can smile and help, when you find yourself able to let someone get over in busy traffic, that you can be a light. You may never see that person again. They may not remember it next week. But for that moment, you can be a light.
I remind you again. I am not perfect. I am not a preacher. But I am trying to do my best in a world full of people who will put me down. Your mind can change it all. Make the choice.
