Gaby, 30, thought nothing of her fiancé Darren going on a stag weekend with his mates. As best man, he'd organised the trip and Gaby knew it might include a visit to lap-dancing club. But she trusted Darren implicitly.
He was the kind of guy who wouldn't even look at a pretty girl on the street when he was with her and was very disapproving of people who had affairs.
He phoned her to say he was having a fantastic time. He mentioned that Steve, the groom, had got a bit carried away with the stripper, but the rest of the group had stepped in. He said he would call later to say goodnight - but by 3am he still hadn't. She was worried for his safety, especially as his mobile was switched off, but it never crossed her mind that he was up to anything.
She hadn't heard from Darren until he was on his way home. Over the next few days, he was usually withdrawn and said he was too exhausted for sex. The wedding took place the next weekend. She was so proud of him; he looked really smart and gave a really funny speech. A few references were made to the stag weekend and she got the impression that the single guys had probably paid for sex. It was only when she was in the ladies later that Gaby overheard the bride telling her sister the best man was among those who'd indulged. Darren had confided to the groom that he was terrified he might have caught something.
She felt devastated and humiliated. The rest of the wedding was a blur and she confronted Darren that night. He confessed straight away and said he'd planned to tell her, as he was convinced he'd caught something and wanted to protect her.
It turned out he hadn't, but the trust was gone and the couple split a few weeks later. Even though he swore that it was a stupid, drunken mistake that he would never do again, she knew that she could never trust him again.
For most of us, the thought of a man who goes to prostitutes conjures up an image of a middle-aged perv in a grubby mac, but times are changing and one of their clients might look like someone you know. According to the National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles, by the National Centre for Social Research, British men who pay for sex, ranging from hand jobs and oral sex to intercourse, are more likely to be generally law-abiding, in full-time employment and in long term relationships.
The increase of men, who pay to have a sexual partner, is largely down to the growing acceptability of stag weekends, sex tourism and lap dancing clubs. In strip clubs and bars, you're pushed into touching the girls by the owners and the girls themselves. If you don't, they're really offended. In that environment, resolve and better judgement are easily forgotten.
Men don't see stag entertainment as part of the sex industry, as it's the done thing. There's a big divide between what some men would do at home and abroad, where their more likely to consider visiting a brothel as the distance makes them feel its ok.
It's become part of the mainstream culture. The motivation is promiscuity, peer pressure or the need to try different sex acts that aren't available at home. For most men it's a one-off, although a few become addicted to the excitement. There are many men, of course, who find the scene a complete turn-off.
