Yesterday me and my friend went for a bite at Subway. I told my friend "I'll get them to put more on my sandwich".
How?
We lined up and at some point while my friend was being served I asked "So you guys been busy in here today?". I said it loud so both people serving could hear. The nearest guy said "I don't know I've just started".
Then the other guy in a friendly way says "yes, very busy" then starts talking to me for 5 minutes about how someone took the day off or something. The first guy who said he just started still put plenty of bacon on for me.
We talk and joke around for a while. The person serving us happens to be cool and friendly.
We sit down to eat. Five minutes later, the guy who served us brings us both a fresh new booklet of vouchers.
I'm 100% certain that if I didn't at least try and strike up a conversation then I wouldn't have got the vouchers.
This is one example and obviously you wont always get free stuff but you show that you aren't the same as the last 50 customers who were boring just: "get to counter ''This. That. Yes. No. Sorry. Please. Thanks' leave shop"
Just by talking to a stranger, others will assume you know each other. This would be useful as 'social proof' for a guy who is later going to chat up a girl who has seen or heard you talking before. Social proof is an influence. It influences the way people think and act.
A group of actors are all in the middle of a busy town. They all look up in to the sky. There is nothing unusual about the sky or the people. As time passes, strangers passing by start to look in to the sky. They have influenced behavior. Social proof.
Some openers which are pretty much universal:
- Hows your day today?
- Has it been busy today?
- What time does close/open? (even if you know)
- How's business today?
- Do you know where is?
- Is there a around here?
Use common sense and judgment. Be creative and think of what it would be like to work where they do.
It's what I call "being genuinely interested" in people without coming off weird.
People will look at you because you are being different. You aren't conforming to social norms. Let them look. They are looking at you because they want to be involved.
Show interest by asking questions. Peoples favorite subject is themselves. Their favorite word is their own name. If you feel comfortable with it, ask their name and introduce yourself.
Lets say you're in the hair dressers.
When I was getting my haircut I remember wondering if they get people getting crazy haircuts and if it was better for them than cutting hair 'the normal way'.
"Is it easy to cut a Mohawk?"
"Have you ever had people really angry because they don't like it?"
"Has ever just ran out and not paid before?"
Obviously you don't want to reel off these questions like an interview, you ask one thing and associate with what they have said. Keep it positive. If they bring up something negative, see if you can see the positive side of it and talk about that.
A lot of this comes from just feeling comfortable to say it. Sometimes there's that slight uncomfortable but when you break through it you show yourself that you can do better than what you've been doing or not been doing in the past.
If they ignore you or say something rude which is very unlikely, they will appear anti-social or grumpy.
In Cafe Nero I said "Did you have a good Christmas?" and she answered with one quick word "Yes". Boring. I'm sure she's a nice person but I got the impression that she was boring.
It's more to do with them than you but most of the time they will respond neutral to positive.
Here are the 7 Reasons:
- You enter their world - We are ingrained in routine but we still like something different every now and again. Asking the woman serving you how she is doing lets her know that there's still people on this earth who are cool and friendly. Not everyone is a boring sod, most are not, even though it can seem like it.
- It builds your social skills - How do you learn to ride a bike or drive your car? Not by reading about it. Not by listening to someone tell you about it. Maybe it helped you but ultimately you learned by doing, trying and "falling". It also lets them build theirs, whether they know this or not. It's good if you get someone who is nice and talkative. I could have put this as another reason but you feel more confident and being talkative and friendly becomes a natural part of who you are.
- You meet new people - Most people have friends from their school, college/uni and work. They rarely meet new people unless they are forced into a situation where they have to meet new people. You can find out a lot about a person just by their first impression, of course their mood that day affects how they are but you get a feel for what they are like and whether it's a person who you would get on with or not.
- They treat you with more respect - They will be more friendly and helpful with you in general. Harder to explain but you will know it.
- You learn new things - Because you are having a conversation, you will be more likely to remember useful things. People are more likely to give valuable knowledge to a stranger who really talks to them than a stranger who doesn't, goes without saying really. Maybe you're at the gym and they tell you that they're going to be getting new workout machines. Maybe a new offer or new vouchers are coming soon.
- You get more opportunities in general - Maybe you don't have a job and you get talking then they tell you they are looking for someone and will put in a good word for you. A lot of jobs just come from word of mouth. Nothing else specific comes to mind but I know it to be true.
- You get free stuff - Whether it's more bacon on your sandwich or cutting you the bigger slice of bread. Of course, don't do it for the free stuff but do it because you're a social person and showing that to the world regardless of what they think!
Obviously sometimes the shop will be busy and you don't always have time for a huge conversation but sometimes it isn't. A quick convo' is fine. Depends on the place you are at. If it's a hairdressers then you have time to sit and talk. Also, you don't have to always be talking. It's up to you.
