"Do these pants make my butt look big?" "Are these jeans too tight?" These may be the most commonly asked questions of our day. Josh has learned that even a preacher has to lie when asked these questions. Other popular questions are "Is my hair okay?" "Is there something in my teeth?"
Well, I got to thinking about society's obsessions with looks a few weeks ago when it came time for the annual beauty and beau pageant at Sarah's school. Anyone who has talked to me in the last few weeks knows that I was not too thrilled by this event. Luckily Sarah is very shy and didn't want to participate. So, I didn't have to try and dissuade her. We did enter her picture in the most photogenic contest, but I'll just be honest. I knew she wouldn't win. I'll just leave it at that before I get fired up again. Just so you will know I am totally opposed to beauty pageants especially child beauty pageants. I mean, if teenagers or older women want to participate and it teaches them poise, confidence, or gets them a scholarship that is their business. But it just seems very wrong to me to parade our children around in gallons of makeup and dresses that cost more than our last house's rent and say "This person is pretty and the rest of you are not." Maybe it's just me, but that's how I feel. I'm not against competition, I just think if you're going to compete it should have to do with a skill that everyone has an equal chance at, and not how you look seeing as how you have no control over that and there are plenty of self-esteem destroying events that will happen in the lives of these children if we will just give it a little time.
Ok, so I've said my peace. Feel free to write and disagree with me. The real reason I write this is because it really bothered me that I was so bothered by this whole ordeal. It really got me to thinking. What kind of message do I send to my kids? The most upsetting part of the pageant for me was watching the parents who it was so important to. I know most of them just let their kids be in because they thought it would be fun. But there are always those parents who seem to need their kids to be the most beautiful and the most gifted and the most involved. I wondered, what is it important to me for my kids to do? As someone who has spent the majority of her life as a major people pleaser and who did every activity imaginable trying to be "good enough" I realized that I desperately want my kids to be ok with themselves even when other people aren't. More important than that, I want them to be right with God, even if it means they will never be voted most popular.
As I tried to prepare Sarah for the pageant I kept telling her, "Jesus wants us to have a pretty heart". I know that brought no consolation the night of the pageant when she didn't win. But, I've learned that when Jesus is telling me something to tell someone else, He's going to teach me a lesson about it. For the past few weeks I've been having to ask myself "Do I have a pretty heart?"
I know that might sound silly, but seriously, how much time do we spend worrying about our hearts? In the last few weeks I've had to deal with some really difficult people and situations and I have to tell you, I wish my heart could be prettier. I know that there have been days when there was not enough makeup in the world to hide the ugly faces I've made, enough lipstick to paint on a fake smile, or enough perfume to cover up the stench of my bad attitude. I've never held out hope of winning Miss America and I've come to the conclusion that if my heart was what was on display it would not be so impressive either. I would most definitely not have won Miss Congeniality in the last couple of weeks!!!! :)
So, somehow a school beauty pageant has led me to want not a pretty dress, but a pretty heart.
"To discover a flaw in our makeup is a chance to get rid of it, and add a new line of beauty to our life."
-Billy Sunday
