Every country and every state has its own laws on drinking and gambling. I come from a small town in northern Ontario, Canada called Thunder Bay. Thunder Bay, didn't exactly offer too much promise for its young population and most us didn't expect to go anywhere in this life.
All that was looked forward to was turning 19, and being legally able to enter a bar. It doesn't seem like a good goal to most parents or even to half the population of the earth, but to most teenagers, especially bored and lonely ones, that birthday just couldn't come soon enough. I'd been dreaming about it since I was probably 14 years old.
At least that's when I had my first serious boyfriend, who happened to be a whole lot older than me and was fully capable of going to the bar, without me. None of this matters, in fact, none of this actually pertains to what I really want to talk about. However, I figure for you to understand what I actually have to say, or where it's coming from, you need a little bit of background.
I never did well in school, even though I tried of course. My mother always said I was lazy, but I really just never got it. I wasn't good at anything, not math nor English. It was sad. I all but gave up when my parent's divorced when I was 16. This had its own separate effect which I'm sure I will have lots of fun writing about at another time. For now, let's focus on where I was in my life.
I knew I couldn't drop out of school. Then, what would I do with my life? I didn't have any career options in mind, and my parent's didn't exactly point me in the right direction. One was over achiever and the other a high school drop out. So, when I met Anthony in grade 12 he definitely became my knight in shining armor. He thought me how to persevere, and to stop blaming my faults on my parents. If I wanted to succeed I could, I just had to apply myself. So, I buckled down, and brought my failing marks up to a pass.
I bet at this time you are going, okay so when does she get knocked up? Yes it's true, that's what most people think, if you have a kid before you are able to legally get into a bar, you must have gotten knocked up in high school. Well if that's the kind of story you're looking for, unfortunately you aren't going to find it here. I knew of girls, in fact one of my good friends in school got pregnant and dropped out, nothing wrong with that, their choices, not mine. I graduated. No honors or anything, but I'd never felt so proud in my life. I accomplished something. And for once I had actually finished something I had started. That's a big one for me. I knew I couldn't have done it without Anthony. He was my hero.
Unfortunately, there are some battles you just can't win, and my battle with my mother was one of them. I had no where to live. The circumstances behind that story are enough to write an entire epic novel I'm sure but I lack that kind of talent. You can draw whatever conclusions you choose from that fact, but I was now homeless, Anthony and I decided it was best for us and me if we moved in together. Scary. I agreed whole heartedly. We lived together for almost a year when we found out we were pregnant.
My family took it alright; they were in no position to judge us. Of course they all thought “What stupid kids, how could she throw her life away, she's so young.” What they didn't know is that we tried to get pregnant, and in fact it took four months to do so. Unlike my father, who had his first child, in his first of three marriages at the age of 17. I was in love. Still am, if that matters to anyone out there. We knew both our families were broke, we couldn't afford a fancy wedding, and to be honest I wasn't too keen on marriage in the first place, after watching my own parents marriage fail and watching my father remarry, marriage wasn't something I associated happy feelings with. But I knew I wanted to be a mother. I knew I could do a good job.
I didn't have the smarts to be a teacher, or an Egyptologist (my dream job), so I knew there was one thing I would be good at, being a mom. I loved kids, and so did Anthony. We felt as if there was something missing from the life we were building together. Most people, had we sought their advice I'm sure would have advised us greatly against this decision. Anthony hadn't been to college yet, and I had no desire to waste my money with no career decision in mind. I was working at for a telephone company in customer service, and Anthony was working construction building houses. We had more than enough money for the life we were living and thought, why not. So we did.
