Feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, or "less than" plague many people in all walks
of life. These feelings, often unexpressed, prevent a person from reaching their
full capacity of achievement. Just where do these feelings come from? Why can
they linger a lifetime, and how can a person overcome these feelings of inadequacy?
From early childhood, we are often taught our role in society. Parents and guardians
are our first teachers. They help mold our perceptions of ourselves, so that most
people view themselves in the light of what their parents or guardians have instilled
within them. Others around us, such as our siblings, family members, and friends
contribute to how we perceive ourselves. Even our names often give us an idea
of who we are. Exotic names or hard to pronounce names have a way of molding
our perception. Nicknames and fun names help us to identify who we are. These
initial feelings seem to stick with us throughout our lifetimes.
Feelings of inferiority come when children are often told that they are not what they
should be. Sometimes hatred, or just down right low rating a child can help him/her
feel inadequate. A parent I know continued to tell his sons they were no good and
no count. They grew up feeling they were "less than" members of society, and
went to their graves with these concepts. While I have seen other parents who
gave their children positive strokes, and these children, thrived and did very well
in life.
Despite social stigmas, ethnicity, socio-economic status, educational status, and
other factors, many people rise above the preconceived ideas of them, and become
great people, as evidenced in history. However, those who cling to the labels
society puts on them, seem to climb no higher than what they feel about themselves.
Down in Florida, a young African-American man, who was perhaps around 40 years
old had worked on the same job over 9 years. He never asked for a raise in salary
because of he felt he wouldn't get it. His fiance prompted him to ask, and to his
surprise he was immediately granted the same. Thus, his perception of himself
limited his income. This occurs in many instances everywhere. Individuals must
be able to see their self-worth themselves. Until this is done, very little will happen
in the way of promotions, and advancements.
When people are given chances to achieve, and there is someone in charge who
studies hard to demean and low rate their subordinates, not only hostile feelings
surface, but feelings of inadequacy and inferiority begin to develop. We call people
that make others feel negatively about their performances, "workplace bullies".
Their chief aspiration is to keep those who work underneath their supervision
psychologically handcuffed into believing they cannot accomplish or do well on
a job or at a task. Unless this is dealt with, employees will have deep feelings of
inadequacy and inferiority, much to the pleasure of the bullies.
As we go through life, we will discover that this earth is filled with wonderful people with
varying talents and abilities. No one has it all, but surely everyone has a niche which
they can comfortably, and ably fill. When we realize this, and appreciate our own
abilities, celebrating them as often as we can, and doing so also for others, the
feelings of inferiority and inadequacies will fade. We will begin attempting the impossible,
and even go so far as to joke about the bloopers we have made. Thus, we can climb
out of the barrel of inferiority, and become a creature of vision, productivity, living life
to its fullest potential.
