When you hear something being said against you, ask yourself “Is it true?” If yes, then why react and get mad? In fact, by admitting it in their face, they will be taken aback. Remember, they will only keep the issue alive if you keep denying it. Own up to it and believe me, the issue will just die a natural death. I've tried that numerous times and almost always in all of those situations, they were taken by surprise by my honesty. But if it's not true and you're hearing it from your back (it's natural to be angry). Then go over to them and make yourself clear. Situation like this is different, you are being falsely accused and keeping quiet will only reinforce their conviction. Go in nice but firm. Something like “I heard this and that, is it true you said it?” Then explain your side with as few words as possible. Be direct. Sometimes it gets so bad that your position within the group becomes jeopardized and fear overtakes you. This is where faith in God comes in. 1st, if you are in such nasty environment, it's really good riddance to walk away from it. Of course, you'll worry about losing your job. Put in mind one thing : If you're beginning to feel unhappy in a certain group situation, then something's already wrong (either it's them or sad to say sometimes it's you who has the problem). Begin by changing your perspective (sometimes it works), but if you doesn't pan out, then walk away from it all. Sometimes, we have to go out of the room of comfort to see the opportunities that awaits us.
Make a conscious effort to be see the good in them. I know this is the most difficult thing to do, especially if they are already having a feast stabbing you at the back and especially if you're already fuming mad.
That's why this remained an unsolved problem for thousands of year running. Forget about them for a second and think of it for your own peace of mind. By looking at their bright side, you are getting rid of one unpleasant person in your life, but by focusing on their positive traits (surely there must be, you just have to continue being as nice as you can be) you eliminate a kontrabida (villain) in your everyday life. They are still there but in your eyes, they are the not same person anymore. By doing this you are actually walking the path of the road less traveled where few dare to thread because of fear and pride, but once you free yourself from the congestion, it's a wide open lane out there in front.
Move away from them if you like but never, ever burn your bridges because life works in such a mysterious way and it becomes even more mystifying when you begin to stay connected with the Divine because when the chips are down, you'll be surprised to find out that the same person who are sabotaging you yesterday just might become your saving-grace during your most trying moments.
It can all be summed up with the phrase “You can't change the externals, but you can change your way of thinking and your way of reacting to situations caused by them.”
