My little baby brother. He showed me so much about true happiness. He showed me so much about endurance, during the most horrible bouts of pain. The needles, the throwing up, the pain deep down inside of his very bones from the breaks. Eventually, not even morphine worked on such pain. He wanted so badly to have just one more year. It was always the same. Just one more year to watch my babies grow up. Just one more year to share with my wife. Just one more year to share another Christmas, another Easter, another snow storm.
He suffered for nearly six years with his illness. I don’t think I would have lasted three in that condition. He fought to be with his family. Fought to be with his wife. Fought to bring one more person back to God. When he died, the church held close to two hundred people who came to show their last respects to my baby brother. He was so loved and shared all of himself with so many others. He left a video to be shown at his own funeral service in the church. I’m told, there was not a dry eye in the entire place. He had many messages for so many that he loved, including me. I was not there during his last breaths. I was not there when they laid him to rest beneath the earth. For I could not bring myself to watch my baby brother leave. I could not bear that much pain. My last words were spoken to him through his wife, whispered in his ear. She said tears rolled down his face and he smiled. But as I type these words, I weep.
When we talked, he always understood, that when that ‘time’ came, I would not be able to be there. I just couldn’t. No, its not a question of being selfish, it’s a question of knowing that I would not have been able to endure it dear readers. When he left to return to God, he took a part of me with him. A part of my heart that he promised to hold until we meet again. I know he is there, waiting for me. We are going to meet under the big tree which grows beside the river of life. He will be sitting in the shade when I go to meet him there.
I miss him terribly. I miss hearing his voice, his laugh. I miss his great big bear hugs. Nobody can ever replace them. I miss his unending kindness. I miss how even though he suffered so much, he still loved greatly. His eyes, his smile. I miss his company. I don’t much like Valentines Day anymore, it seems so many of my holidays are marked with such great sadness.
To my baby brother Teddy, I love you so very much sweet little boy. And I am glad that you are no longer in such great pain. It ended the day Father took you to His bosom. Rest well sweet baby, I’ll be there as soon as I can.
